Migration
by GleeGeneration23
Summary: Jamie and Eddie had it all. A baby, a strong relationship and a future. Until Jamie and their newborn daughter are kidnapped. Five years later their daughter is found wondering the streets looking for Detective Danny Reagan. Read and Review.
1. The Art Of Desperation

**Hi, so here is another Blue Bloods story, I came back refreshed and just in time to see a renewal for Season 8!**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just Lily.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

 **This is based on the film Room that stared Brie Larson so keep that in mind. There might be some trigger warnings down the line so please keep that in mind.**

 **I am hoping that this story will be ten to twelve chapters more likely ten.**

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Migration

Jamie and Eddie had it all. A baby, a strong relationship and a future. Until Jamie and their newborn daughter are kidnapped. Five years later their daughter is found wondering the streets looking for Detective Danny Reagan.

Chapter 1-The Art of Desperation.

* * *

 _Before_

It had been a normal day. That was the tragedy of the entire thing. It had been a normal day.

Jamie Regan had, had it all. For once he had finally felt like things were going his way. He was now happily together with his ex-partner, living together and had a baby.

Lily Isabella Reagan had been a surprise of that there was no doubt, but she had been the best surprise that Jamie and Eddie could have ever had. She had been conceived he was more than embarrassed and amused to admit due to a combination of gin and another wedding that thankfully had not resulted in a punch up. She had been born on a cold December night when the rain and the snow had been lashing down and the roads were icy. She had been tiny when they had pressed her into Jamie's arms and she had looked like him he was more than pleased to admit. She had a tuft of blonde hair and blue eyes and his nose and she grabbed his finger her little face furrowed and Jamie Reagan fell helplessly in love.

And that was where this story started.

The labour had been rough, agony as Eddie would call it and Jamie had been charged with taking the baby home before her mother could return with them. Whatever decisions they had to make about their relationship (because a one night stand that turned into a baby left questions as Danny delighted in reminding him) they had agreed to move in together, at least for the time being.

He had wrapped Lily in her little blanket and handed her the little stuffed donkey. It had been an old toy of Joe's and his father had given it to him when he had heard that he was about to become a grandfather for the fourth time. Lily had been asleep the entire time and Jamie had thrown caution to the winds and decided to allow Danny to put the seat in the car before he left for work so he could carry her to the car. Therefore he had his hands full of sleeping baby when he heard someone come up behind him and the nozzle of a gun pressed against the small of his back.

"Move" said a voice in his ear.

Now Jamie Reagan had felt terror before, or he thought he had. When Joe had died, when he had come face to face with more than one shooter in his life, when Vinny had bled in his arms and when he knew that nobody was coming to get their backs.

That wasn't terror.

This was terror.

"Look" he said trying not to shift Lily too much. "I have a baby here, she's asleep, I need to put her down and then you can do whatever you want with me"

Shit why didn't he have his gun on him?

There was a soft laugh that was cold and menacing and just a touch desperate.

"Oh I know" came the voice and Jamie recognised it as female. He thought of Eddie upstairs in the ward asleep and tried not to let the despair take him. He was outnumbered, outgunned and more to the point holding his baby girl who he would never let any harm come too.

Short of a miracle he was dead in the water right now. That should make him scared for his own life but it didn't. It made him terrified for his daughter who was still asleep, sleeping through her own death or kidnapping or whatever this was.

Dimly Jamie realised that that had been such a Joe thing to do. His brother could have slept through a war and rolled out of bed at noon and still called it early.

Then something pricked his neck. It was sharp and fast and he sank to his knees tucking Lily who was now fussing closer to him.

The last thing he remembered of the whole thing was that Lily was being taken out of his arms and that he had half expected Danny to turn up and save the day.

* * *

 _Five Years Later_

Jamie had planned for this with all the experience that someone who had studied at one of the top colleges had planned for their final exams, he had studied extensively the little window and how far he suspected the road from the house was to the main one.

He had carefully timed the distance it took for _her_ to go to work and how long it was before she came back this time she was on a late shift and he was hoping that his plan would work before darkness fell, then again, so many of his hopes didn't work out.

And finally he had managed to get his hand on one of the tools that resided in the toolbox kept so often out of his reach.

It was a horrible plan that left so much to chance but he had to put it into motion, and he had to do so now.

It had been five years since he had woken up in the basement of the house that his daughter now called home. She hadn't been with him when he had woken up and he had soon learnt why.

The woman that had kidnapped him had been called Daisy. Jamie had never known why he was kidnapped. Had never known if it was because he had been there, had a baby or because it was some sort of grudge against his father he wasn't sure all he knew was that the bitch had restricted his time with Lily to the weekends in order to keep him quiet.

The first time he had fought back she had pistol whipped him took Lily and he didn't see her for another three weeks.

He had learnt his lesson after that.

When Lily had turned three however things had been different. Daisy had one day dropped her into the basement and left her and Jamie had racked his brains trying to figure out what that meant.

How do you try and gauge the mind of a madwoman?

But he had survived and that was what was important. So far he had determined that Daisy if that was her name was working alone and that she was white with blonde hair. He tried to find out where they were living and he realised one day when he had managed to see something trough the crack in the door, that the newspapers she got and the mail indicated that they were still in New York.

He had tried to glean more information but he had failed, and now this was his one chance, he had long since resigned himself to the plan, had long since resigned himself to the fact that he wouldn't see Eddie again or eat his Mom's famous mash potatoes that his Dad would make, or lean his head against Danny's shoulder when the world became too much. He would never see Nikki or Jack or Sean get married or graduate. But Lily could.

And Lily would.

Jamie had tried to make their lives as normal as possible. One of the most fundamental things in doing that was making sure that Lily never forgot her family. He would curl up on the bed they shared together and he would tell her about her Uncles, her noble and heroic Uncle Joe and her brave Uncle Danny who could save the day and was somewhere out there still looking for them.

That was the hope that he clung too. Danny would have never given up looking for him.

They shared a bed and a toilet and a bath. There was a closet and a small table where he had patiently taught Lily how to read using bits of paper and his own imagination.

But he was losing his mind.

Lily would survive this. If it killed him Lily would have better than this. Lily would have her mother.

He had been right all those years ago, now nearly five, when he had suspected that she would look like him. She had Eddie's long blonde hair and his eyes and even though she leaned a little towards looking like him there were days when he found himself looking at her and thinking she was the spit of her mother.

The mother that needed her.

It had taken a long time for him to think through and steel his nerves for what he was about to do. If he was going to die doing this (and once Lily was gone was there ever any need to have him around?) then he wanted it to be for a reason.

Lily would have Eddie. And he hoped that she would have Danny, his big brother defending her and looking out for her and protecting her the way he had done so for him.

So locked in his own thoughts that he didn't realised until the saw (now blunt) slipped onto his hands and he swore under his breath. Then it clicked in Jamie's brain. The padlock baring the window was snapped in two. He looked back at the window and realised while the sky was steadily growing dark.

He thought of Eddie, her blonde hair and the way she laughed and the way she had once ate ice cream in the bathtub and the way her stomach had curved gently when she'd been pregnant. Jamie thought of the way she smelled, coconut from her shampoo and then rose from her shower and bath products and with that image in his mind he slammed the end of the saw into the glass and shattered it instantly clearing away any sharp jagged pieces.

The window was only small enough for once person to crawl out of and he knew it wasn't going to be him.

He crossed to the other side of the room, to the bed that they shared. The duvet was old, thin and worn and might have been blue once and it was only body heat that kept Lily from freezing when the winter got too cold. Lily was curled asleep under the covers her tiny hand clenched around the pillow.

"Lily-Pad" Jamie said shaking her awake. She grumbled as she woke up in his arms and he tried not to smile bitterly. "Come on. It's time to go"

Lily nodded her little face crumpled with sleep.

Jamie had told her little of this plan, he had written down the address of the 54th precinct along with Danny's badge number and name. Chances are Lily would be found by a cop and he wanted her to be found by someone who knew where to take her. He didn't know anything of where Eddie was but one of the reasons he had held on this long was that he knew his big brother would have never stopped looking for him.

It was a hope. It was the last one he could cling to with any certainty.

After Joe, Danny would keep looking.

Lily was still in her nightdress. It was old, one Daisy had given her and came up to her knees. She was wearing fuzzy socks and Jamie helped her into her old boots he had insisted on getting (and he had lost a weeks' worth of meals for him for that) and then he reached for her warmest jumper.

"You know what you have to do?" he asked gently. Lily nodded her hair bobbing up and down with her head.

"Find Danny Reagan and get him to come back here and help you" she said finally. Jamie nodded, the fact that Lily didn't know where here was wasn't much hope but this was about more than his life. She had been out of the house more than once since she had been in the basement with him. Perhaps she knew more of the surroundings than he did. He hated putting this on her.

He nodded pressing a kiss into the blonde hair and wrapping his small arms around his daughter. He tried to commit the feel of her to memory before he heard it.

There was the sound of gravel moving. As if a car was pulling in the driveway. Jamie pressed another kiss on the top of his daughter's face and swallowed. "Stay close to the wall and then run when she's gone" he whispered. "Don't come back"

The door opened and Jamie all but threw Lily through the window. She looked back at him her eyes wide but Jamie tried to smile even as there was the sound of footsteps coming closer.

"I love you" he said smiling through his overbright eyes. "Now run."

Lily shot one long desperate look at him before she turned and ran the sounds of her little feat crunching against the gravel until he couldn't hear it anymore.

He turned around and said a quick plea to his brothers both alive and dead and then found a smirk forming on his face when he saw Daisy, the woman with blonde hair and a nurse's uniform on that had taken them that day. Her eyes flew to him to the window and then she snarled once her hand reaching for the scalpel she always kept on her when she came to see them.

Jamie laughed once without any feeling.

"Go ahead" he said truthfully.

"I've made peace."

And he found that no matter what for the first time in five years, he had.

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 **If you would like me to continue this story then please let me know, this is a Jamie/Eddie story with Jamie Whump and copious amounts of Danny and Jamie brotherly love because that is probably my favourite thing in the world.**

 **I will try and update as soon as I can.**

 **And let me know what you think. **


	2. Some Kind Of Miracle

**Hi, wow thank you all for your interest in this story! Because so many of you asked I will carry it on and as always it is between ten and twelve chapters.**

 **This chapter gives you and insight into Frank's perspective and therefore a little of Danny's. Chapters will be done via point of view and I can reveal we have a Danny, Jamie, Eddie and Lily chapter all coming up though not which order.**

 **Next chapter will be up soon so tell me what you think of this one.**

 **Also I am not from New York or even the States so anything I get wrong I apologise in advance.**

 **There might be trigger warnings in this chapter as always I will cover my bases with a simple warning.**

 **Disclaimer-Only Lily is mine, nothing else.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

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Migration

Chapter 2-Some Kind of Miracle.

* * *

Frank Reagan had not intended to go out for a drive that day. The snow was sticking on the ground and the weather was dreadful but when he found himself for the third time that day staring at the same piece of paper without really realising what it was he found that he was in need for fresh air.

Baker managed to get the car ready in five minutes flat and usually that would come with some sort of remark but today...hell like all the other days previously Frank could barely stomach enough energy to go to work and come back to bed these days. Sleep was few and far between and he tried to bury himself in work and tried to ignore the concerned looks that he would get off both his father and his daughter.

There was only one thing that he could think of. Jamie.

They had never found a body of Jamie or that precious little girl that would have been Frank's forth grandchild. Frank had only seen her once. A cute little baby with what he had hoped was Jamie's temperament as well as his eyes. Jamie and Joe had had the same eyes and it had been rather unnerving as well as moving to see them in another living, innocent human being.

And then they had gone.

Oh the hospital had CTV footage. They had seen the woman that had put the gun in Jamie's back. Had seen Jamie fall and the woman pick up the baby and then hoist them both into the car.

But that was it. That was all they had to go on.

And that had been nothing.

Oh that certainly hadn't stopped them. Frank had had a manhunt working for at least the first three months he would have had it for longer but the truth of the matter was that there was no leads. The new leads. The new Mayor who wasn't a fan (unless it suited him) had asked him to stay on in the face of what he suspected was mass resignations of half of his Chiefs if Jamie had been the reason he had been sent packing. Eddie had carried on her own private investigation for at least another month aided and abetted no doubt by his father and then finally as they were nearing the end of the first year Eddie had stopped or at least as far as he had known.

Danny however. Danny had never stopped. Danny had an open file on Jamie and the baby at the bottom of his desk draw and one at his house and Frank knew that he had a copy at home and read it at least once before he went to bed via Linda.

Danny had he suspected, taken it worse than anyone. Joe had nearly killed Danny but the loss of both of his little brothers had destroyed him. Frank could tell that he was trying so hard to be normal at least for the sake of the already fractured family but he could tell Danny over the course of the last five years was slowly crumbling.

Frank could understand. He thought about Jamie all the time every second of every day. He thought about his youngest who had had everything and then had it snatched away.

This was worse than Joe. With Joe there had been a body, there had been something to bury and something to mourn. There had been the belief that Joe was in a better place. That there was a reason for why this had happened. And fundamentally there was a grave and that made all the difference. There had been something, a reminder to go and see. It had been a final closing to a tragic chapter.

But there had been none of that with Jamie. So yeah, Frank could understand the obsession that seemed to be a part of Danny, and in the same way he could understand Erin, wishing to keep it to herself and moving on so that she could have some semblance of a normal life even more so now that Nikki was grown up.

But Eddie, Eddie had been the worst.

She had gone almost mad with sleep deprivation for the first three months going around wearing one of Jamie's old shirts and carrying the baby's stuffed teddy bear. Frank had all but refused to let her go back to her apartment for the first year, he had claimed he needed the company and that Eddie needed the support but privately both he and his father had been worried about what she would do to herself.

The second and third years of Jamie and baby Lily's disappearance had been marked with the press and the fact that Frank at some point had to reign in his family when Jack had punched a reporter for asking if Jamie's disappearance was staged. The reporter had come away with a broken nose and a fractured jaw and Jack had been suspended from college for a few days, and if privately Frank approved well...Linda never need know.

The last two years Eddie had finally moved out into a new apartment and had slowly gotten her feet wet on the job again. It had been Sid who had suggested she work intelligence at One Police Plaza. "She's too visible now" he said when Frank stared at him. "And I don't think she should be on the streets what with every cop knowing her story, she's gonna feel out of place"

As it turned out Eddie had a mind for putting together ops and gathering the information. She still came over every Sunday and when she asked Frank if he'd prefer she didn't come one day she was shouted down by his entire family his father being the loudest.

"Honestly" the older man had said shaking his head and dumping more beef on Eddie's plate. "Your family"

They had slowly inched towards normally. Jack had gotten into college. He had decided to do medicine but had made it plain that the second he got all the relevant credits he was taking his surgery career forwards with the Marine's which had done little to help Danny's shortening temper. He had gotten a girlfriend as well, Theresa who was also a med student and she too was a welcome addition to a table that was lacking important members.

Nikki had rose through the ranks of the NYPD with a shocking quickness. Sid and Garrett had all but threatened mutiny if she didn't get her promotion to Detective and then she had earned a promotion to the Sex Crimes Unit where she seemed to be flourishing despite the types of crimes she was solving. And again, Frank didn't have to listen to those rumours about her affair with her boss (did he?).

Sean too was just in his first year of college, unlike Jack who had gotten as far away as he could, Sean had chosen NYU and had stayed relatively local. So far all seemed well with him. Perhaps it was different how his three grandchildren had reacted. This had been the second uncle they had lost. He supposed that they were used to it, they knew what to say and what to do and maybe they did struggle with the definition between missing and dead but really, in Jamie and Lily's case was there really any hope that they were still alive?

He thought all of this on the short ride down to the car. Sid was already there with an expression of gloom. Sid, Garrett and Baker had probably kept the entire NYPD running that first year, certainly the first three months and had perfected the art of only bothering Frank with the important things rather than the things that they knew he wouldn't listen to.

"So" Sid said with the air of getting on with it. "Where are we going?"

Frank shrugged, he didn't mean to be rude which Sid understood, he nodded. "Around the city then" he muttered turning to the folder in his lap.

"How's your granddaughter?" Frank asked as soon as they hit open air. The snow was thick and heavy on the ground and many pedestrians that didn't have to be out had gone home as the darkness came earlier and earlier, it was now a murky grey the sky and he was already feeling tired.

Sid beamed. His son had, had a healthy baby girl the other week and he was positively gleeful about it.

"Loud" he said finally. "And there always seems to be a lot more pink about the house"

Frank let him continue in this rhythm for half an hour before he spotted it.

* * *

For a second he thought he was imagining things but then he saw it up close. Or rather her up close.

"Stop the car" he said loudly and the black SUV stopped smoothly.

Sid turned to look and then swore under his breath. Frank privately agreed but let it go.

There was a child on the pavement. It was a girl of about five or six and her long hair was blonde and dirty. She was wearing a thin nightdress kind of thing last seen in the 1920s and there was an old jumper thrown over it, her boots were wet with snow and her little legs (which were skinner than anything Frank had ever seen) were shaking with cold and dark with mud and scraped. She was rumouring around in the snow which had turned into mush and her small almost blue fist was holding a pile of mush.

He stepped out of the car watching her. She still didn't seem to notice him.

"Hi" he said in what he hoped was a kind voice. She looked up and Frank felt anger coil in his stomach. The kid was clearly starving. Her cheekbones were prominent in her face and her eyes were blue and big in her tiny face. She was watching him with a terrible weariness that no child should have to endure, something like distrust was forming in her defiant expression as well. She didn't speak just stared at him so Frank decided that despite the ache in his legs he would have to crouch down next to her.

"You don't wanna eat that sweetheart" he said softly because he suspected from her chapped lips and tiny body she had been hungry. She looked at the slush in her hand to Frank again and then back.

"I'm hungry" she said finally her voice tiny. It was a New York accent that much was obvious and Frank felt another wave of anger, he hated anyone who would treat a child like that in his city.

"I know sweetheart but you don't wanna eat that it's gonna make you sick"

Her face scrunched up at that and Frank bit his lip against an ache of longing. She looked a little like Jamie when she did that. He shook his head to rid himself of the thought. This kid wasn't Jamie but she was in serious need of help. She dropped the slush on the floor though so that was a start.

"You wanna come in the car with me and we can get you something to eat?" he asked in the same soft tone. The kid shot another suspicious look at the car and then to him again. She shook her head. "I have something I have to do" she said and then she turned around and carried on stomping down the pavement.

Frank shot another look at a confused Sid who shut the car door and motioned the driver to keep following with one fluid movement. Frank fell into step behind her.

"You mind if I join you?" he asked and only got a shrug in response.

"My name's Frank" he said. The kid stopped and shot him another look.

"I need to find someone" she said finally in a rush.

"But everywhere is so loud and busy and I don't know where I am" she looked down at the end of that sentence and Frank realised she must have thought she'd said too much.

"That's ok I can help with that" well he could. He just had to get the kid somewhere warm, preferably with a large hot chocolate and a seven grilled cheese sandwiches first."

"Is it your parents?"

She shot him another long look as if weighing whether or not he could be trusted. It was such a strange look to be given by a five year old but one that felt of so much importance he knew he couldn't fail it.

"My Daddy" she said finally. "He needs someone to help him and I've gotta find them" and then she looked around as if expecting to see whoever she was looking for or at least a signpost. If it hadn't have been so tragic it would have been hopelessly endearing.

Well that was a start. The old detective part of Frank's brain was beginning to put two and two together, the kid's dad was in trouble and judging by the looks of his daughter pretty big trouble.

"Who are you looking for?" he asked.

And then she said the words that would blow Frank's world apart.

"Danny Reagan" she said stepping towards the end of the street.

It was only the knowledge that came with raising four children that kept him from stopping. The kid was gonna step onto an open road and Frank stopped her hands coming out onto her thin shoulders before she could even as his frozen brain fought to keep up with the swift turn in the conversation.

How the hell did Danny fit into this?

And why was it always Danny? Hadn't his son, the one still remaining done and suffered enough? What shit was he now gonna be dragged into?

She turned to stare at him with those wide blue eyes and Frank forced a smile on his face before she became too suspicious even if his insides were racing.

"Well I can help you with that" he said seriously. The kid shot him another glare. "You can get me to the 54th pre...pre..."

"Precinct" Frank filled in for her and then nodded. "You see I'm a cop too"

She turned to stare at him her whole body twisting and then she turned to eye the black SUV that had been slowly following them at snail's pace.

"You don't look like one" she accused and well...yeah Frank could get that.

"Well I'm a pretty important one" he said bending down again and unclipping his badge. "So I have a different car and a different uniform"

She stared at the badge and the picture next to it and then another gust of wind hit them. She shivered so hard Frank was sure she was gonna fall over and then she handed it back to him.

"If you try anything I will scream" she promised. Frank resisted the urge to snort with difficulty. "Promise" he said as solemnly as he could.

Sid at that moment chose to open the door and after another long look at the pair of them with those wide blue eyes the kid slipped in the car.

Instead of sitting down and fastening her seat belt the kid scooted over to the window and stared out of it for the whole journey with such a look of wonder on her face that it was frightening. Who thought that mushy snow and yellow cabs were the highlight of their lives? What had this girl been used to seeing?

"You want me to warn Danny?" Sid murmured but Frank shook his head. He knew Danny to well, if he was working on Jamie's case or even looking at it he wouldn't pick up his phone and he didn't feel like explaining this to the ever amazing woman that was Maria Baez who he privately suspected was the reason why his son was on some days still alive, or at least not riddled with bullet holes more often than not.

* * *

They arrived at the 54th in record time. Frank offered a hand out to the kid but she jumped down straight into a puddle that coated her already dirty boots and legs in more water. Surprisingly she didn't seem to mind that she just giggled.

"You must be important" she said as the rookies all saluted as they walked into the bullpen. Frank snorted once waving them down.

"You have no idea" he muttered.

Maria was already on her feet her jacket half slung over her chair and looking surprised. Danny barely looked up from his file only doing so when Maria kicked him.

"Hey" he said standing up. Danny had never been one for formality and even less so after Jamie disappeared. His eyes took in the kid with one tired swoop. Frank frowned, Danny hadn't been sleeping again. He caught a look at the file. It was Jamie's. The picture of his son all bright and cheerful looking on the day of his graduation from the Academy still burned a hole in Frank's heart.

"Are you Danny Reagan?" the kid asked and Danny nodded his expression changing from confusion to anger to compassion as he took in the kid in all her underfed glory.

"Yeah I am kiddo, what can I do for you"

She reached for her boot and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper that was wet and placed it on the desk. "I need you to help find my Daddy. He says you're the only one he trusts"

Danny nodded though it was clear that he had not followed a word of the conversation.

"What's your name kiddo?"

"Lily"

There was a second pause where Danny half looked up at his father. Frank knew where he was going with this. Any kind of sign fuelled the hope for Danny but Frank didn't want to admit that he might be onto something. He didn't think either him or his son could stand it should it prove to be like it always was...false hope.

"Well Lily does your Daddy have a name"

Lily shot Danny a look.

"I know him as Daddy" she said as if Danny was being deliberately stupid. "But he knows you"

"Does he?" Danny said looking for a pen.

"He said you would never stop looking for him" she said cheerfully.

Maria seemed to stiffen next to him. Danny looked up in a horrible slow motion kind of way. Sid raised an eyebrow but Frank couldn't seem to unlock his frozen muscles. He was aware that now everyone was looking at them.

Danny put down his pen. "Kiddo" he said slowly, "Do you have a photo of your Daddy?"

Lily shook her head but as she was tuning her eyes alighted onto the photo on Danny's desk.

"No" she said finally. "But you do"

The entire room held its breath.

She reached out onto the mess that was Danny's desk and rummaged around until she found the one that she was looking for.

"Here's Daddy" she said proudly.

Danny looked from the picture in Lily's hand to her to his father and then when he found Frank's eyes his own were filled with tears.

"Dad" he croaked out.

"Jamie" he whispered and Frank saw as Lily turned to him the picture clutched in her hand. It was the one of Jamie's graduation day.

"Jamie" he said finally looking at his son's happy face clutched in the hand of the granddaughter that he had long ago thought dead.

* * *

 **And let me know what you think. This is the first time I have ever done Frank's perspective in this long a chapter so...**

 **Updates will come soon. **


	3. Lily's Law

**Hi, so here is the third chapter, i have it down to about eleven chapters now but i am unsure of how to write in a child's point of view considering i have never done a whole chapter in one before but i think this turned out ok. As i may have showed Lily is a lot smarter than she looks.**

 **I also wanted to show the family's method's of dealing with Jamie's disappearance, Danny clinging to hope, Frank in limbo and Erin attempting to rebuild her life so don't think to badly of her.**

 **This chapter also has no breaks as it takes place in the same place and from the point of view of the same person.**

 **Next chapter will but up soon i promise.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine**

 **Please Read and Review.**

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Migration

Chapter 3- Lily's Law

Lily had been sat in this room for a while now. Honestly if she had known this whole thing was gonna take this much time she would have insisted on...well she didn't know what but she would have insisted on something that was for sure.

* * *

Danny Reagan had not been what she had expected. She supposed if this was the right Danny Reagan she had to call him Uncle. Or did she? Daddy had told her about Uncle Danny but then again Miss Daisy on those times she would allow Lily to come above the little room to watch TV or plant flowers or to give her a new dress had told her there was no family outside of theirs.

Oh this whole thing was confusing. Lily was only five, she wasn't sure what to do now.

But she did know that Miss Daisy would know by now that she had gone. Going outside was forbidden unless Miss Daisy was with you. Daddy hadn't been outside in a while, a long while and their window never opened. She wasn't sure how long it had been but the sky was growing dark again and she knew they didn't have much time to waste as Daddy would soon be in trouble.

Not that that seemed to worry anyone here.

The nice lady called Maria had taken her into this room which had four walls a door and a window and had seated her down at the table with a nice smile, a can of soda and a sandwich which the nice man called Sid had gotten specially. Now she, Uncle...Danny, and the man called Frank were outside having a heated debate. Another woman had joined them, this one with dark hair and dark eyes and she was definitely not friendly if the looks that she was shooting Lily were anything to go by.

She had ate because she was hungry but now she was tired, cold, bleeding on her knees and starting to get worried.

Honestly what was the point of grownups if you had to do everything yourself?

She was going to have to do this herself, how she would get back home she wasn't sure (because she didn't know) but she had gotten this far and that had to mean something.

She hopped of the chair and tried the door handle. To her surprise it opened. They didn't lock her in. Wow.

She opened the door and stepped outside. Wow again. This whole concept of doing whatever she wanted whenever she wanted was strange.

Well. They were all so busy arguing she would have to do this herself. Again.

She took another step and another and it seemed nobody was going to stop her. She would have giggled if it wasn't for Daddy.

She had barely made it five steps (and yes she counted) before somebody stopped her. It was Maria.

"Lily" she said smiling that nice smile and Lily stopped. Maria was nice. Surely if she explained Maria would help? She seemed to be the only smart one here after all.

Everyone else stopped too.

"Lily sweetheart what's wrong you need something?" that was Frank again. Although was he Grandpa now? Oh boy was this complicated.

"I need to find Daddy" she stressed "He doesn't have time for you lot to have a chat about the sky"

And with that she swept past them.

"Woah kiddo wait a second" that was Uncle...Detective...that was Danny.

"You wanna tell me where you're going?"

"Home" Lily said shortly. Didn't she just explain this?

Uncle...Danny crouched down to her level and raised his hands in a non-threatening kind of way like they did on TV.

"Lily where is home?"

Lily thought hard. While she was thinking the new woman the brown haired one scoffed.

"Erin" Danny said not taking his eyes of Lily's face his voice was now dangerous. Like Miss Daisy's when Daddy did something or said something and he would put Lily in the closet with the door shut so she wouldn't see what she did to him.

"Oh come on Danny, she doesn't have a clue. Someone's put her up to this, probably someone you've pissed off which could be anyone"

Danny growled again. Lily had no clue what was going on here. But Erin it seemed didn't stop.

"This is ridiculous even for you Danny, blind hope to the extreme"

"As opposed to what?" Danny said turning around. "You pretending that he doesn't exist, pretending that he doesn't matter, that she doesn't matter, moving on to the next case as if he was never there? Give me a break Erin. All I have is blind hope and it paid off and you know it, just because I kept looking and you gave up. I lived for the blind hope"

Lily had no idea what the hell was happening but she knew this was important so she tried to keep up. Tried being the opposite word. She was tired, she was hungry and she was worried and scared and nobody was there to comfort her. She tried not to tear up she did but she couldn't help it.

"I am Lily Reagan" she said finally. "I don't who you want me to be all I am is Lily Reagan"

There was a pause as they all looked at her and then Danny...Uncle Danny...took a deep breath and kneeled back down again.

"I know that kiddo ok, I know, I believe you, I promise"

Lily swallowed. Hard.

"Can you tell us where home is?"

"I don't know" Lily said trying to get the point across.

"I've never been outside it before. Not like today, all I did was climb through the window and run"

That seemed to grab everyone's attention.

"Window? Like in a house?" Uncle Danny asked. Lily nodded.

"We live in the basement" she said.

"And Daddy broke the lock on the window..." Uncle Danny took a deep breath as if he was resisting the urge to shout or throw something but Lily ploughed on while it seemed she had everyone attention on her.

"And he told me to find you and...I did." She finished lamely.

"Ok" Uncle...Danny said in a would-be-casual kind of tone. There was a second where they stared at each other and then he said again.

"Do you know who was keeping...who was living you?" he asked.

"Miss Daisy" she said. Uncle Danny's head snapped up and there was a second where he stared at her and then slowly he turned to Erin who was staring in shock.

"Does she have dark hair?" he asked and Lily nodded.

"Like the video" Maria breathed, "A woman with dark hair all alone"

Lily had no idea what they were on about but they seemed to be on the right track.

"Did the woman...Daisy have anyone else in the house?"

Lily thought hard. "Sometimes" she said finally. "But...they never stayed long. Most of the time she was alone"

Uncle...Danny nodded. "And did she go out to work"

Lily thought again and then nodded. "I think she was some kind of doctor" she said finally. "She wore the blue things a lot"

"Scrubs" Maria said flashing her a grin.

"Ok. Did she have a car?"

Lily nodded, she had been woken too many times by that thing, and she knew it was a big car as well.

"Big one" she said finally. Then a memory came to her. It didn't seem like much but...she thought she should say it anyway.

"When I was allowed upstairs there were pictures on the wall. Of another girl like me, she looked a little like me anyway, I asked once but she..." Lily trailed off. She remembered what had happened. Miss Daisy had half thrown her across the room, apologised took her downstairs and Daddy had barely had time to put her in the closet before...

"And she has a gun" she said finally remembering. She looked up to see the faces of everyone looking at her.

"That help?"

"Yeah" Uncle...Danny said finally his voice a little shaky. "Yeah kiddo that's brilliant"

"She's gonna know I'm gone" Lily said finally. "She's gonna get mad, always does"

That apparently seemed to have some kind of meaning for the people (where they all her family?) because Uncle...Danny, and on a separate note Lily had to find out what she was to call him because this whole thing was utterly confusing seemed to become a different person. He snapped up and turned to look at Maria who was already on the phone barking orders to someone. So was Sid.

"Eddie" was all he said to Frank who nodded looking tired.

"I know" was what he said to his son.

Just then there was the sound of running feat and then another man came crashing into the area where they were stood another two people following. One was a woman with dark hair and one was a younger man, the leader was older with greying hair. Both the woman and the younger male were staring at her with that strange gaze that Lily was rapidly becoming used to but the older man was staring at Frank.

"Commissioner?" he asked once.

What was a Commissioner?

There was a lot of things that she still had left to figure out she thought to herself before she was aware that eyes were on her again.

"Is he still alive?"

"Yeah Tony he's still alive" Frank said heavily "Or we think he is"

There was a second where nobody spoke and then the younger man grinned. "Thank God" he said grinning.

The woman still hadn't said anything. Words didn't seem to come easily to her.

Frank...the Commissioner...her...well...whatever he was seemed to realise that Lily was stood there looking confused. She was still hungry, still cold, still tired and still terrified and she was beginning to think it was showing on her face.

"Detective Baez your gonna co-ordinate from here, Sid get to the office co-ordinate from there, this does not get out so I want Garrett on press, I'm not spooking this woman. Danny call Linda tell her I'm gonna bring Lily in, I want a medical report and a DNA test and you can work at the hospital when your done with that, Erin get me a warrant for when Danny needs one, I don't care what you have to do to get them just get them, Sean tell your brother and when he doesn't pick up tell Theresa and let them both know and Nikki get to wherever the hell your Pops is and get him at the hospital. Tell him a little food and a warm blanket or two wouldn't go amiss either. Tony..." he turned to look at the older man.

"Tell Eddie and get her down at St Vic's as soon as you can" he lowered his voice so Lily had to strain to hear him.

"Do it as gently as you can"

There was something about him Lily realised as she watched. Everyone seemed to listen to him, he certainly seemed happier than he was when she first met him. Everyone seemed to do what he had told them to and Lily remembered what he had told her when she had gotten into his car.

Suddenly she looked up from where she was staring at her muddy boots to see that he was looking at her.

"Come on" he said gently. "Let's get you somewhere warm" at the very word Lily shivered but she didn't move.

"Are we finding Daddy?"

"Yes" the reply was firm.

"I can help" Lily pointed out. After all they wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her.

"You have already" he said so gently that Lily felt she had even though she disagreed with him. She was tired, she longed to sleep somewhere but she wasn't sure if she was allowed.

But in the end she didn't think she could refuse.

There was a second where she stared again without seeing and then she nodded.

"You're coming right?" she asked as they made their way towards the door.

"Oh yeah, I just got one of you back. I am not letting you out my sight"

Lily didn't know what that meant but there was something about the way it was said that made her feel warm inside.

She hurried to follow him and climbed into the car.

"What do I call you?" she asked finally. Frank considered it.

"Well" he said finally. "I am your grandpa. I suppose you knew that" he waited until Lily nodded and then swallowed.

"But if you think that you a need a bit of time to get used to that you can call me Frank"

"Ok" Lily said swinging her feet.

"Your father could never leave could he?" Frank asked softly. Lily shrugged.

"She'd take me away when he tried. Sometimes for days, longer. I dunno. She says it keeps him quiet."

She didn't look up at Frank's face which if she had she would have seen it darken. However there was one question she had to ask.

"Eddie's my mom isn't she?"

Frank looked at her then and Lily thought he looked very sad and very alone. "Yes" he said finally.

Lily didn't know what to make of that, she didn't know what to make of all of this. So instead she curled her legs up to her face and placed her arms on top of them so Frank wouldn't see her crying.

"Daddy would know what to do" she said finally.

"Oh he would" Frank said finally his voice as sad as Lily felt.

"I want him back" she said just as quiet, so quiet Frank wouldn't hear.

It seemed he did because he gave out a long sigh.

"Oh sweetheart" he said his voice so very sad. "I want him back too"

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 **And thank you for the kind reviews with the last chapter, hope you enjoy this one. **


	4. Only Momma Knows

**Hi, so here is another chapter, this one is the first point of view of Eddie so enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just Lily**

 **Please Read and Review.**

 **Due to exams coming up it might be a while before my next updates therefore i am giving you some warning.**

 **And please let me know what you think.**

 **And for those of you wondering about Jamie, don't worry, we will find him soon-spoiler-aprox two chapters.**

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Migration

Chapter 4-Only Momma Knows

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Eddie Janko had long ago perfected the art of pretending that her heart wasn't broken. It went something like this...

Wake up. _Don't think about Jamie and Lily._

Get dressed. _Don't think about Jamie and Lily._

Force something down that resembles food. _Don't think about Jamie and Lily._

Go to work. _Don't think about Jamie and Lily._

Come home and eat again. _Don't think about Jamie and Lily._

Open a bottle of wine. Have one glass. Try not to have another. _Think about Jamie and Lily._

All in all it worked quite well.

If you had asked Eddie to remember what the first three years had been like since Jamie and Lily had...well she supposed the right word was kidnapping but that was too harsh a word when she thought about it, she would have told you that she didn't remember. She had spent a year and a half in the upstairs bedroom of the Police Commissioner's home and had ate only when he had forced her too.

She did remember that night where she had found out that they were stopping the investigation. Danny had smashed two vases in the house and then collapsed in the kitchen tears half pouring down his face and she remembered collapsing in bed and not eating until Henry all but forced her to sit up and practically spoon fed her French onion soup and tucked her into bed like she was five and held her hand while she shivered with something sort of emotion she still couldn't identify.

One day she had sat up and finally cried. She had locked herself into the bathroom and cried and cried and cried and then she had opened the door and crawled out and finally been able to come downstairs for the first time in three weeks.

The Reagan's had been...honestly amazing. They had took care of her, fed her, made her feel loved and more importantly had let her spend two years in that house without asking for anything. Eddie had gone to the Sunday dinners and ate little even if Henry seemed to think she was underweight. Her baby weight had fallen off her instantly and so had a lot of her other weight. She had been toned before her pregnancy and had been toned during it, running and keeping fit and well...being a cop but when she had gone from having a family to nothing she had become (according to Danny) emancipated overnight.

It was difficult however to eat when she didn't know if Jamie and Lily were eating.

That was something that had stayed. Eating became a thing of necessity rather than something that she had enjoyed. Hell food was how Lily had been conceived. One too many bottles of wine, feelings and pepperoni pizza and cheesecake. Grilled cheese had been the thing she had ate during her pregnancy and salted caramel popcorn had been her craving. Suffice to say she had a problem eating those types of food.

Sid Gormley who Eddie did not know that well had gently suggested that perhaps she'd be better off the streets and had recommended the intelligence positon. It was a good increase in pension and promotion but it put her on his floor at One Police Plaza and three floors up from the Commissioner. That being said she found that wasn't a problem. Sid was always there when she had a problem and nine times out of ten Frank would always pop his head in during the day which she took to be his way of making sure that she had not yet begun drinking with lunch.

It was...easy...working with intelligence, planning ops and co-ordinating with different departments, they called her Detective Janko now and it was strange to her, she had wanted so long to climb the ladder so that she could have a career and she would now she knew give it all up tomorrow just to have answers.

She carefully didn't look at the case. She carefully didn't ask Danny who she knew had been living on hope that he could one day crack the biggest case that he had ever caught. She didn't ask Frank how he woke up in the morning. There was a sense that he was struggling just as much as she was. Each day was a nightmare to live no matter how much she threw herself into work, each night was filled with dreams and horror shows so much so that she woke up screaming and reaching for the bottle of wine so that she could stay up and focus on the shadows at the end of the bed rather than the one that haunted her when her eyes were closed.

Her desk was covered in three pictures the only standouts among the paperwork and as Eddie came into work that freezing cold Tuesday that this story...or at least for her started. She had dressed in a pair of black jeans that were both comfy and decent enough to wear and a dark blue sweater and boots and she dumped her bag on the floor turning to stare at her desk. She stared at them, these photos, living proof that she was once upon a time happy as she did every fucking agonising day for the last five years.

One was of Jamie and Lily taken by Nikki, it wasn't the best quality, it had been taken on a camera phone and had been Jamie holding their baby the most stunning smile etched on his face. Every part of her partner and boyfriend had been beautiful Eddie supposed. How was she supposed to look at dating another person when she had fallen in love with a man that first night she had been on patrol and a cop had died in her arms a picture of her family in her hat?

The second photo was of her and Jamie. Lily had been safe and sound and tucked away in her stomach ballooning outwards and she blamed Henry for that one because the older man had been so pleased that Jamie was finally 'settling down' with someone so nice. She looked dreadfully fat in that photo and Jamie had looked stunning, she smirked once to herself, the bastard had always looked stunning in any photo and every photo.

The third one was the one that she both lived to look at and dreaded as well. Jamie had been holding his arm around her shoulders and Lily had been in her lap, her eyes shut as if she didn't care for photos. It was the one that she had of her family. Of the three of them all happy. Two days later and the world as she had known it had gone crashing down around her and she had been forced to rebuild as best she could, pretending that nothing bothered her and focusing on her work. Like she hadn't had a crushing pain weighing on her each day as the years went by and one year turned into five.

She had just started reviewing the main officers reports on an intelligence bust which had seen three potential recruits to a drug ring that had been distributing a new brand of drug that seemed to keep getting stronger and stronger, it had turned out the distribution was a High School science lab which had led to an armed raid and more than one teenager's parents thinking about filing lawsuits against the NYPD for the damage done to their precious angels. Eddie never had the patience to deal with whiny over pushing parents ever since she had lost her chance to be overprotective and worried. She had lost too much to ever feel sympathy for people who treated their kids like crap.

Anyway she was sat at the desk ensuring that she had caught up with the paperwork when she heard the sound of the elevator opening and running feat. The corridor was quiet, she was generally alone anyway. The whole point of intelligence was that most of her fellow detectives that worked in the same department were outside trying to gather it and therefore she could generally hear anything and everything. Running footsteps were not uncommon around here either. Many rookies on loan tended to forget where they were most of the time and used the place as a personal running track trying to impress their bosses.

She looked up just as someone crashed into her door which was still slightly open. She looked up brushing her hair out of her eyes to see Anthony Renzulli, Jamie's old TO and whose wife made her chicken omelettes once every three months which Eddie would have found annoying if it wasn't one of the better dishes she forced down herself. He looked windswept and she noticed that his eyes were filling with tears.

"Eddie" he said brokenly and Eddie realised ice dripping through her bloodstream with a frightening speed. Oh, she realised her whole body and thoughts detached with a speed that she had never really felt before.

Oh. She knew what this was. She fell back into her chair her hands forming into fists and then she stood up again deciding that wasn't good enough, her mind was going numb but she could remember thinking even for days afterwards, that if she was going to hear this news from Tony Renzulli she was going to do it standing. It was surprising that it was him here, but she thought...Frank must have been too busy with Danny. Danny would have been destroyed over this. Eddie could feel the walls closing in already and she hadn't even been told.

Because of course Tony was here to tell her that Jamie and her sweet innocent little baby girl was dead. That sunshine child with the blue eyes and the tuft of blonde hair that had cooed at her for the three glorious days she could call herself a Mom.

As she swallowed down the bile in her throat and forced the roaring in her ears to dull into a quiet noise she forced herself to focus more on the conversation.

But if there was a God out there then please, please let it have been quick and painless. Let Jamie not have saw it coming and Lily to have not been in any pain. Eddie could take it...well she could begin to take it had that been the case.

For the last five years her life had been at a standstill and it seemed like she had been waiting in some sort of terrible, aching limbo for this moment. For this, when they showed her that Jamie and Lily were dead and that she was needed to identify the bodies because...because Frank was with the family. The family she had never been a part off.

And why the hell was Tony staring at her like he was expecting her to register the end of her world? Why the hell was he smiling?

"Eddie" he said gently. "Eddie do you get what I'm trying to say?"

Oh she got it all right.

"Where?" she said finally.

Where the hell she meant had they been found?

"St Vincent's, Linda's there now and Jack's girlfriend doing a medical but Frank wants a DNA test"

Eddie stared at him. The words that he was saying were refusing to catch up with her tired and overworked brain. She felt like she was missing a large piece of the puzzle. Why would...God was what was left so bad they couldn't identify them?

"How bad is it?" she said again and she was amazed at how steady her voice was. She expected it to be mimicking what she was feeling, already she felt hysterical.

"Not bad I don't think, she's talking and well underfed but nothing Henry won't fix up when he gets a look at her"

"Who?" she asked trying to wrap her head around what the hell he was going on about. Tony stared at her for a second and then his expression softened.

"Eddie" he said and he took her hands in his. She forced more air into her lungs and willed herself to stand on her own two feet.

"Lily's alive"

There was a second where she stared at him, hell it could have been years that she stared at him. She had never hoped for this, had already reconciled herself to the belief that Lily was dead but here Tony was offering a lifeline to her. He wasn't the type to make things up, he like Danny had been invested in finding Jamie as soon as possible, in never giving up like she had. She had been living in limbo for so long she didn't know what to do with this.

"What?" she asked again. Tony nodded.

"Frank found her walking the streets, she was looking for Danny and she pulled Jamie's picture straight off his desk and told him that he was her Daddy and he needed his help, Danny all but collapsed when he found out but he's spearheading an investigation and Frank took her to St Vic's for a check-up. Eddie...Lily is alive"

And finally Eddie believed him.

"I need my keys" she said looking around her whole body swaying. She didn't realise her knees had gone out until she fell into Tony's arms and he all but had to carry her to the chair in front of her desk turning it so it faced him, curling one hand around her face and forcing her to look at him.

"Darling breathe" he said gently and Eddie nodded forcing herself to breathe in and out. _Lily was alive._

 _Lily was alive._

Breath in, breath out.

 _Lily was alive._

"Is Jamie?" she asked once she had her breathing under control. Tony nodded and then shrugged.

"She says he is but...I got the impression from the way Danny was acting we might be on borrowed time"

Eddie nodded.

 _Jamie might be alive._

 _Lily was alive._

"I need to go" she said finally.

Tony nodded helping her stand and Eddie marvelled at how the world seemed much brighter than how it had been five minutes ago.

"I'm gonna drive us there" he said gently and she nodded. Tony wrapped one hand in hers and dragged her along the corridor and Eddie was reminded of why Jamie had respected him so much. She remembered wanting to turn him in once to IAB and she thought about apologising but didn't know what good that would do.

She would get her daughter back. She would get Jamie back. And then she would go from there.

Yeah she could do that.

Tony all but pushed her into the seat and she realised he had left his partner somewhere and then remembered that his partner was Sean Reagan. Tony had taken on responsibility for the newest Regan in uniform perhaps as Nikki had thought once because of Jamie.

"Most of them are at the precinct" he said as a way of answering her unasked question.

"Frank's at the hospital and Nikki went to pick up Henry but...most of them are working on this"

She nodded and Tony did a very dangerous turn in the road sirens blazing.

* * *

They got the hospital and Eddie nearly leapt out of the car while it was still moving all but running up the floor that Tony had pointed out until she saw the figure of what she supposed would have been her father in law standing at a window looking in the room as Theresa Jackson, Jack's girlfriend and surgical intern was speaking to him.

He turned as he heard her running and Theresa turned with him her dark hair tied of her face and her face filled with both confusion and happiness. Theresa had never been around when Jamie had been there and while she had heard the story Eddie supposed the significance and the impact had not hit her, it wasn't she knew her fault.

"Frank" she said ignoring the protocol that had dominated her life for years.

Instead the commissioner opened his arms and Eddie fell into them. "Yeah" he said into her hair. "We got Jamie's girl back"

Eddie stared at him and then had to again remind herself to breath. Stepping back and taking a moment to control herself. It would do no good to break down and scare Lily half to death.

Theresa took that moment to speak.

"Linda's err catching up with DNA test but she has the same blood type as baby Lily and...err..." she shot another look at Frank who nodded encouragingly.

"She's unharmed" Theresa said simply. "Underfed and dehydrated and cold but that's just an aftershock of walking around in the snow, she was exhausted so we gave her a light sedative to knock her out but other than some scrapped knees and some glass in the back of her leg she seems fine. She wasn't touched or anything I can tell you that."

Eddie had to forcibly bit her lip to hide her whimper. She had never known until this moment how much she had worried about that possibility. Frank reached out and pulled her close to him and she knew he was relived as well.

"How long to the sedative wears off?" he asked. Theresa checked her notes.

"Three, four hour's maybe but she's not slept in a while so she might just sleep on" she smiled once at Eddie.

"If she was with Jamie the entire time he did a brilliant job of making sure she was protected" she caught the look on their faces and then nodded. "I'm gonna go make sure Linda's got the DNA test on hand but I would stake my reputation on this being Lily Isabella Reagan"

"Thanks Theresa" Frank said as if he understood that Eddie couldn't say another word.

Theresa nodded and then excused herself.

"Jamie" Eddie said and Frank nodded.

"Danny is running point, she gave us some information, something about a woman called Daisy who may be a nurse. Probably the woman from the video" he caught Eddie's eye and nodded.

"Guards on this door at all times don't worry"

"He's alive?" she asked and Frank nodded.

"Yeah I think so" he said and she registered how small his voice had gotten.

"I need to see her" she stressed and Frank nodded opening the door.

On the bed was a small child, about five. Eddie could see a mass of long blonde hair that was messy. That was about all. Her baby seemed tiny in that bed. She crossed to the other side of the room and stared.

This she knew was her daughter. The resemblance to Jamie in sleep was shocking. She had his chin and nose but her cheekbones were sticking out in her face and her hand the one that was clenched in the covers was bony and brittle. She looked like a girl that would fall apart if you hugged her to hard. If this was the state of Lily then she dreaded to think of what state Jamie was in.

"Frank" she said pulling up a chair and sitting down before her legs gave out. Again she was amazed at how calm her voice was.

"If you get this woman alive I want fifteen minutes off the record alone with her"

Frank snorted at door sounding more like a father than a boss.

"You might have to fight Danny on that one. Evidently I am told there will be a long line."

She still couldn't take her eyes of Lily and curled her legs under her.

Frank was still standing by the door but he seemed to realise that Eddie desperately wanted time alone with her sleeping child.

"I'm gonna check in with Danny" he said gently and Eddie nodded still not taking her eyes of Lily.

She leaned back in the chair as the door closed and took another deep breath wiping away the water that had spilled from her eyes, when Lily woke she would need her mother strong, when she got Jamie back he would need her strong as well. Only when she had them both back would she ever allow herself to break.

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 **I will update as soon as i am able. **


	5. Spiders In A Jar

**Hi, here is another chapter. This one is probably the last of Lily's perspective but then again don't take that for granted. I also underestimated this story so there might be a few extra chapters than what I originally said there would be. The next chapter I promise you will share some light on Jamie and I promise you in the next few chapters we will find him.**

 **I apologise for the lateness but I do have exams and as we all know they take up a lot of time. That being said-enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

* * *

Migration

Chapter 5-Spiders In A Jar

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Lily awoke to the sound of a very annoying beeping. It took her a second her eyes still close to realise that she was not in her little basement house, she was not tucked beneath a thin quilt and her Daddy's comforting warmth was not pressed up against her lulling her back to sleep. She imagined that she must have slept for several hours for really there had been very little to do.

And then it all came flooding back, she had gone looking for Uncle...yes she thought he had to be Uncle now-she would add that to the list of things that she would have to ask later, anyhow she had gone looking for Uncle Danny and had ended up finding what seemed like a lot of people calling herself family and...And her Momma.

Lily keep her eyes closed thinking hard. Daddy had only very rarely talked about her. He mentioned her only when he was feeling very sad she could tell, they had been friends for a long time before they had had a baby and Daddy still got that strange look in his eye whenever she was mentioned. They did not mention her much-well Lily did not mention her much at all because she knew that Miss Daisy had never liked it much. But now...

Lily was suddenly wishing that she had never left the basement, that she had never gone away and that she had never had to think of all these things that were so confusing and difficult for her to think about. The only person she had ever known was Daddy, how was she supposed to deal with all these other family members if they never found him again?

And it was this, this thought and this fear that finally forced her to open her eyes and rub the sleep out of them desperate for answers that even though she was five she knew not all could be given.

It was then that she heard movement from one side of the room. She turned to see and then stopped moving almost as if a spell had been put on her.

Uncle Danny was standing at the window looking out as if he could see Daddy in the sky he barely looked at her even when her eyes found him and she shook her head her hair rustling against the pillow as the last of sleep left her eyes.

Then her eyes saw another person.

And Lily Reagan, even though she was only five, even though she had never seen this person before knew immediately who it was.

She had long blonde hair that was loose and long and messy much like her own. She had blue eyes, not the same as hers but they were wide open and they were staring at her with a gaze that looked unfocused. Lily knew who it was immediately, it was like every bone in her body was screaming at her when she caught sight of the woman that her father had only talked about when he was sad, that he had, had to deny in order to keep Lily with him.

This was her mother.

She turned to look at the door, processing all of these facts and saw another police officer standing outside.

Wait. Did that mean that she could not leave?

It took the woman a few seconds to realise that she was awake. Lily could see her blue eyes widen and then her face go paler than it was before. She could see her mother register that her daughter was awake and staring at her and confused as to what to do next.

Instead she turned and coughed slightly under her breath and Lily saw Uncle Danny turn and take in the mother of his brother's child and then Lily, Lily watched as his eyes widened and then she realised with a horrible sense of shock that came she thought with perhaps being more grown up than other children, that they still couldn't believe that she was here and alive.

She pushed herself up wincing at the pain in her knees where she had slipped on the ice some time ago and had scraped it. There was a second where she stared at them and she stared at her and then finally Uncle Danny spoke.

"Hey there kiddo. You sleep ok?"

Not knowing how to answer that Lily nodded.

Carefully she didn't look at her mother instead she focused on Uncle Danny, she knew Uncle Danny, her father had told her to trust Uncle Danny. She could do this.

"You haven't found him have you?" she said. It was a question but she already knew the answer.

"No I haven't" Uncle Danny said his voice very quiet. "I was hoping that you could help us out again"

Again Lily did not dare to look away from him and when she spoke it was with a tone that she did not like and could not identify the emotions that it carried.

"I did everything I could, I told you everything I know"

Uncle Danny nodded but there was something in his expression, something that Lily couldn't name but made her without question turn to the woman that had been sat there watching her. She had done all that she could have done, had said everything that she knew about and was confused about why her Uncle was looking at her like she had done something wrong.

Instead of looking at him however she turned to see her mother staring at her with wide eyes and she jumped a little when she realised that Lily's eyes were on her.

"Dan" she whispered turning to her Uncle and he stared, looked between them for a second and then nodded once.

"I'll wait outside, but I have a line up...some nurses and doctors with the name Daisy and..."

"I know" her mother said back simply and Uncle Danny shot another look between them before finally nodding and disappearing out the door into the hallway, Lily watched him go and then foolishly wanted him back. At least with her Uncle she knew where she stood-she knew that he loved her father because Daddy had told her, had clung to the belief that Uncle Danny was still looking for them even though it had been a while if the feeling she was getting was any warning.

She had no idea where she stood with this woman, her mother, and she found it terrifying.

"Hi" she said finally and she was annoyed to realise that her voice had gotten small. Daddy was in danger-or at least Uncle Danny believed that he was-this wasn't the time for her to be acting like some dumb brat baby. This was the time where she had to be strong. Daddy needed Lily to be brave and she would not disappoint.

"Hi" her Momma said back, Lily supposed that was what she was supposed to call her even in her head but she didn't understand any of this, she didn't understand what had happened for everyone to look at her like she was some sort of gift. What had happened for everyone to look at her like that? Why had her Daddy put her through that window in the first place? She had never asked him because she knew the look on his face and had been too afraid and too tired to ask but now...now she was desperate to get some answers.

"Are you...are you...are you my mom?" she asked finally.

Something in the woman's expression seemed to crumble a little but before Lily could say anything there was a smile back on it as if that little moment of weakness had never happened. Lily worried her bottom lip in her teeth and stared at her.

"Yes" she said finally. "I am"

She stepped of the chair and the slid in one movement so she was on the bed. Lily watched her carefully but the woman...no her Momma made no move to touch her and she found that she was so confused that all she wanted to do was go back to sleep and sleep until Daddy came back and explained it to her.

"My name's Eddie" she said gently and Lily nodded. She didn't think to tell her, her name because she assumed that she already knew it.

"What happened?" she asked finally. "Why is everyone worried about Daddy?"

Her Momma paused and a strange but yet somehow terrible expression flew across her face.

"Because...Lily do you know how you ended up...at your home...did your Dad ever tell you how he ended up there?"

Lily shook her head.

"Well...when you were a little baby a woman took you and your Daddy away from me and I never got to see you or get to know you or..." she broke off and then and Lily thought she got the picture but she wasn't sure, it seemed like Miss Daisy had taken both her and her Daddy but then...then...

"I'm confused" she said finally.

Her Momma nodded as if she understood that.

"I know. I know I understand, this is very confusing. I..." she bit her lip and Lily watched her when she swallowed again.

"I get that this is very confusing, but...Lily I don't know what happened to you or your father and I am _sorry_. I am sorry for more than I can say, for more than you will ever know but I am here. I am here right now and I _promise_ you that I will never let anyone ever hurt you again. So...so I guess what I'm trying to ask you is...do you wanna give me a go? You wanna get to know each other? And I know that it's scary right now but...but if you'll let me I would truly like to be your Momma"

Lily listened to all of this trying to process this. It felt like a betrayal somewhere deep down to have this woman, her Momma, the woman her father had always loved regardless of what he would tell Miss Daisy whenever she pointed her gun at him when Miss Daisy was still in the picture. She had been nice to Lily, she had been allowed upstairs, had once been allowed to be as Miss Daisy had put it the 'Queen of her own Castle' on those occasions she had gone in that big car and gone away to the little storage unit where she had been content to sit in the corner and stumble her way through the words of the book that she had been given. It was very unusual to think of all of this, this which had until yesterday morning been her life and to think of it as being wrong.

But there was one truth that she could cling to, and once she had that perhaps Lily could see past her confusion, they had to find her Daddy, only then with him safe could she start asking the questions that were swimming around in her head so rapidly it felt like she was going to drown in them.

"We need to find Daddy" she said finally and Eddie...her Momma looked at her for a long second in which Lily got the childlike impression that she had not disappointed her but not surprised her with her dodging around the question. Instead her Momma nodded.

"Yeah we do" she said finally. "Can I call your Uncle Danny in? He has something to show you, some pictures, he wants you to pick out of _her"_ she all put spat out the words and Lily had to bit her lip but this time to it was to hide her smile.

"But if you don't feel like it, or if you don't see her then I don't want you to stress yourself"

Lily stared at her. She was thinking in her head that she had lived with this woman for five years, she was five years old as well not some stupid baby, if this could help Daddy then of course she was going to do it.

She nodded once. "I can do it" she forced her teeth to let go of her lower lip and she swallowed harshly. Nobody she thought irritably, would ever say that she was afraid.

Her...Eddie nodded and then gestured to the door where Uncle Danny had been standing near peering through the window and before he could come through she asked the one question that she had been desperate to ask.

"Do I call you Momma?"

Uncle Danny half froze in the doorway as the blonde woman turned to stare at Lily and her blue eyes had that very soft sad look that Lily recognised as the look her Daddy got whenever he was thinking about...well...her Momma.

"If you'd like, that's up to you"

Lily didn't understand again and eventually she shrugged reaching with one hand to grab the covers and pull them closer to her as if she needed the protection. Instead she turned to Uncle Danny and he must have read what was on her face because he nodded and slid across some pictures. There was six of them in the photo and it wasn't hard to pick out Daisy's face.

She pointed to it and her Uncle Danny peered over her shoulder and a look so frightening came over his face so much so that she felt herself fall back into the pillows.

"You sure kiddo?" he asked and Lily nodded.

"Daisy Marchbanks" he said once, he looked up at her Momma and there was a second where the two of them stared at each other.

"At last" was all Uncle Danny said.

"You did brilliantly kiddo" he said and then he was out the door.

"They're going to find him" Lily said finally. It wasn't a question.

"Oh yes" her Momma said and her voice caught a little before she recovered.

"Do you wanna get some more sleep?"

In truth she wanted to eat but sleep did seem like a good thing. Lily nodded and her Momma lifted the covers so she could settle down around them. Lily blinked looking up at her.

"When you wake up we can get whatever you want to eat, your favourite thing, promise"

"Good" Lily said truthfully but she had no idea what her favourite thing was because she had been raised in a place where you ate what was put in front of you and even then that wasn't much.

She closed her eyes sleep coming to her again and before she drifted off into sleep dreaming of her Daddy coming through the door to the room and sweeping her up in his arms to let her know that she had done exactly what he had asked her to do-and probably more considering all the new family she had gotten when she was only supposed to be looking for the one person-she was aware that her mother's hand had curled around her blonde hair as if she had been nothing short of desperate of something of Lily. Lily the lost girl so that she could hold on and never let go.

Oddly enough she found it comforting and it was this that helped her close her eyes and finally go back to sleep.

* * *

 **And I hope you enjoy this chapter. Next one should be up soon.**


	6. Imprisioned Lives

**Hi, so here it is, another chapter. You guys have been amazing and therefore you get two chapters so enjoy. Also with this chapter I can announce that updates will becoming a lot more quicker because the end is nigh for exams.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.**

 **Next chapter will be from the point of view of someone I've not written about before-don't worry I can reveal it's not Daisy Marchbanks. This story again might be longer than I had originally thought but don't worry there will be a happy ending.**

 **And let me know what you think.**

* * *

Migration

Chapter 6-Imprisioned Lives

* * *

He was dimly aware he was coughing up blood. And at least two ribs were broken if not three. Along time ago when he had been young someone-was is Linda? Whoever, they had taught him how to identify how you were injured, you had to remain calm and rational otherwise your heartrate could spike and you'd do yourself more injury. Either way he had to stay calm.

However Jamie Reagan was to calm. Calm wasn't the problem. In fact if you'd have asked him he would have told you that he felt a cold sort of numbness slip into his bloodstream from the very moment the first blow had come down.

She was gone. Lily was gone. She was safe.

He had to hold onto that hope. Realistically he knew that someone would see his daughter and call the cops. A five year old walking around in the snow was hard to ignore. Then it was only a matter of time before someone called Danny. And then Danny would either find he or not he didn't care which-but either way Danny would have his daughter and then soon enough Eddie would.

He found he didn't care all that much after that.

A part of him would be lying if he said he wasn't annoyed it had come to this. On the really dark nights where he had sat staring out of the barred window for the shred of moonlight Lily asleep, always asleep he had wondered why he was still here five years later, his father still the Police Commissioner and Danny still...Danny. He wondered why nobody had kicked down the door, on the darkest of dark nights he wondered if it was because his brother had given up, if the thought of losing Joe and Jamie had been too much for him, if his brother had moved on, if his brother was glad because secretly he had always liked Joe over Jamie.

After that he would have to stop.

But he knew he wasn't the same. Daisy had granted him a razor at least once a month but she took Lily away while he shaved. And Jamie had never had the desire to slit his wrists even in his darkest days because he could never leave Lily on her own like that. And it hadn't changed him that much, he could see in the mirror that he had gone gaunt and thin, he had shared his food with Lily and nine times out of ten he knew she ate more than he did and she was as thin as he was. His skin was thin as well and his hands chapped from cold, his hair was somewhat trimmed but he kept growing back stubble that made him look older than he was. He felt older than he was.

And then there were the injuries. He was willing to bet in the early days when he had fought back he had broken at least one bone in each part of his body. Daisy had not been gentle. Whatever fantasy they were playing out here she wanted him broken to do so. He had at least two fractures in his hand and his knee had never recovered from where she had twisted it.

And then there had been the nights she had come down to the basement with her gun desperate for the perfect family fantasy that included... _another baby._

She would never let Lily leave as she ordered him to get on the bed and pull his pants down gun at his temple. He had barely enough time to put her in the closet with a warning in the sternest tone that he could manage to close her eyes and cover her ears until he got her and then he would let Daisy do what needed to be done. God knows there was no pleasure in it for him but long ago she had figured out how to get what she needed from him.

He forced himself to count again. Two broken ribs and god only knew if there was internal bleeding and the way his knee was twisted was not right. His hand was bloody and bruised and he couldn't move one of his fingers and there was blood coming from his temple and his nose. All in all he knew even one bodily movement was painful enough for him to throw up what little he had in his stomach.

Daisy had not been gentle. Gun, foot, fire poker whatever she could get her hands on, she was certainly now losing whatever thin control she had maintain on her sanity over the last five years. And Jamie found that he didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore. Lily was gone and Jamie didn't care if he was dead or alive when they found him.

He had lived for Lily and now God willing she was safe-he found he didn't have much to live for now.

And really what was the point? He had been beaten, tortured, raped he supposed and kept in a basement for five years. What did he have to go back to? Everyone would be disgusted with him, what was it that Danny always said he was? The goody golden boy that could do no harm, well he thought bitterly, he wasn't golden now.

* * *

There was a creaking from the door and Jamie knew from the footsteps on the stairs that she was coming back down. She had taken a break from beating him to go and think or drink or reload or do whatever it was that she needed to do before she killed him.

The sad thing was that Daisy Marchbanks would have probably been attractive had she not snapped somewhere before she'd taken him. She had long dark hair and eyes to match and she would have been someone that once a long time ago he might have tried his luck with given the right circumstances. That being said he knew enough from what Lily had told him about what she had seen upstairs to know that there had once been a Mr and a baby Marchbanks.

She was staring at him the gun in her hand and Jamie didn't have the energy to move let alone say anything, his eyelids were getting heavy and he didn't want to think about what was going to happen next, in fact all he wanted was for it to be quick.

And perhaps his brain told him, he would get to see at least one of his big brothers again.

Daisy was drunk and panicking that much he knew and she too seemed to have that look of a woman that was tired of the charade that she'd been living. Jamie had studied cases like these while he'd been in the academy, when he'd been studying for exams and he knew that they generally didn't end well.

He had entrusted his daughter to one brother he thought coughing up blood, if there was a God she would be safe, and if there was a God he would be with his other brother soon.

Joe.

God he wanted to see Joe so bad.

If he was dying today and there really was a heaven then he wanted to see Joe, he wanted to hug Joe and have his big brother tell him that everything was gonna be alright again. He had earned that he thought over a lifetime of pain-he had earned the right to be with his brother and he didn't see the point of holding on for much longer.

One bullet. He calculated. Joe had gotten a shot in the gut, he had bled out surrounded by only one detective that had tried to keep him alive and he'd been scared and confused. He didn't have that luxury anymore, if he was lucky she'd shoot him in the head.

He remembered Vinny, shot in the neck choking on his own blood and knowing that this was how it was going to end and finding that he didn't care as long as he wasn't alone.

Dying he concluded was so very difficult but yet so very easy if you were alone.

"You're not going to tell me where she is are you?"

He tried to focus on Daisy whose tone was more resigned than anything and then he managed to work a mouthful of blood in his mouth, he spat and was distinctly pleased that some of it got on her converse shoe.

"Fuck you" was all he managed.

Daisy stared at him with contempt on her face and then she nodded.

"Get the fuck up" she said finally. "I wanna play a game"

"Fuck off" was all he managed back.

Daisy's shoe came down on his knee. Pain exploded along his body and Jamie swore again trying to keep the bile down and failing. Retching with pain he forced himself to spit out the blood and vomit that was in his mouth just as her hand came out and grabbed him by the hair. She forced him up with considerable upper body strength and Jamie thought about making a crack about how much time she had spent at the gym but he knew that deep down his leg couldn't stand another blow.

He half heaved himself up to the table in the basement where two days ago he had been teaching Lily to write her name. She had always spelt it Lilly never getting that she only had two L's in her name not three. He forced down the tears by gritting his teeth so hard he thought he heard them crack a little.

Though that might have been his mind.

He gripped the edge of the table even as his left leg danged at an odd angle from the knee down and his head swam. He wasn't even aware that she had tied his hands to the edge until he felt her do the same to his legs. He stared. One of his hands had been tied down she had left the other one loose. Oh this wasn't good he thought dimly. This was really not good.

He forced himself to speak even as standing made black spots appear in his vision and what was left of his stomach lining taking a sharp leap in his throat dancing every so close to the surface again.

"It doesn't matter if you shoot me" he said finally. "Danny's gonna find you, now he has motivation to do so"

And there was his golden truth. That was his silver lining.

Danny had been there when Joe had been brought in, he knew that his brother had been the first person to see Joe's body even before his father could get there. He had shown up to see Danny gazing vacantly into space, he'd spent the entire funeral like that too shocked or too horrified to speak for a long time after they had all arrived at the hospital.

He prayed that it wasn't Danny that saw his body this time. Danny had nearly never recovered from the death of Joe, this would kill him, seeing the body of his little brother, of another little brother would kill him of that Jamie knew.

 _Please_ he thought. _Please if he arrives let Maria go in first._

He didn't want Maria to see him either but he supposed she was the better option.

He hadn't allowed himself to think of Eddie or Lily. He wanted to greet death with a bit of dignity and thinking about the girl he loved more than anything and the girl that had kept him alive these last few years was not going to do that. He didn't think of his father who would never recover from burying two sons because thinking of his Dad hurt beyond thinking of Eddie.

He thought of his Mom, he thought of Joe.

Daisy laughed once.

"Oh I'm counting on it. You think that when you die you'll see the ones you've lost again? I'm thinking of the same thing"

Jamie didn't know how to respond to that. They had been through too much him and this woman for him to respond in any way about her death. He didn't care. He was so detached from everything that he found nothing could make him care about this, the only thing he had cared about had gone through the window behind him two days ago.

Well...he supposed it was selfish of him to ask but he did wish he could speak to either Eddie or Danny before he died. He had to tell Eddie that he was going to his grave loving her though he hoped she already knew and it would have been nice to speak to his big brother once more. He was Lily's godfather only Jamie wasn't sure if he knew that because Jamie had wanted to be the one to tell him.

She slid the gun on the table and eyed him critically.

"You want to talk to someone before you die?" she asked casually. "See if they get here in time?"

Jamie shot her an expression that he knew was half pain half disbelief.

"Detective Reagan" she said leaning forwards the phone in her hand. "What did you think I was doing upstairs darling? You want to speak to your brother before someone gets a bullet?"

Jamie forced himself to wet his lips and then he saw it. One bullet. So that was her endgame.

"Russian Roulette?" he asked coughing again, more blood came out of his mouth but he couldn't help but feel a sick sort of amusement at the thought.

She grinned back at him more feral than anything he'd seen over the last five years.

"Regardless of what happens now you and I are going to share one of the best connections possible. You think Lily's going to just accept Eddie Janko as her Mom? When it was me for the last five years?" she cocked her head to the side.

Jamie laughed once even as the movement burned his lungs.

"Damn fucking straight she is" he said when he finished. "Kill me, don't kill me I don't care and I don't think you do either, but she's never thought of you as her Mom, I couldn't do much over the last half a decade but I made sure of that. What were you going to do when she got older? When she started to wonder what was going on?"

Daisy shrugged loading the gun with one bullet and spinning the chamber so Jamie couldn't see where it was. Five chances, one bullet. God this was getting to dramatic even for him. He was getting tired, she was either gonna shoot him or not and God help him he wished that shot him. He was tired of this and he was tired of living, half-life or not.

He couldn't conceivably see a way out of this basement, he didn't know how to go home back to Sunday dinners and Church and patrol.

She reached out for the phone tapping the number in and his whole body trembled as her finger hovered over the dial button.

"You want to speak to him?" she asked finally and then with a horrible kind of clarity Jamie got what her plan was.

"No" he said his voice stronger than it had been in years. "You cannot let him listen to this, it will kill him, please, and you cannot let him listen..."

"He's listening either way" she said in a deadpan voice.

"Question is do you want to speak to him before we play?"

Instinct failed him and Jamie knew that he would go to his grave hating himself for not being stronger in this moment whatever the outcome was, but in that moment he was lonely and weak, hurting and broken and he wanted nothing more to do than to go to one of his big brothers and beg them to protect him like he had done when he was little and the nightmares and the thunderstorms had kept him up at night.

If he had been stronger he would have said no, he wouldn't have brought down more pain on Danny.

But still, he wanted his big brother, right now he had a fifty percent chance of speaking to both of them depending on what you believed.

If he'd had more pride he would have just nodded. But God knows he didn't have any of that left.

"Please" he said finally and one finger came down on the green dial button.

He couldn't hear Danny's voice but he imagined it in his head.

"Hello Detective this is Daisy Marchbanks"

He could have smirked at the direct way she responded. Danny would appreciate that if nothing else.

Daisy tutted though she shared an amused look that Jamie couldn't help but share even if the pain in his leg was so bad he could barely see. He could imagine Danny's reaction as if he was standing in the room with him.

"Language Detective, I have no doubt that you are in the company of someone better raised than yourself"

There was a pause.

"Oh good you're on your way, very efficient I have to say. Now you're either at your house, your new one, your Father's or your place of work so let's assume I have ten minutes at the latest to play my game"

Jamie felt his heart leap with a strange feeling of both peace and fear. Danny was coming. A part of him hoped that he was dead before he found him, a part of him hoped he wasn't, a part of him remembered that he needed to speak to Maria. If he was owed anything he was owed this.

"You wanna speak to him?" she asked in response cocking her head to the side. "Before we play. Oh come on Detective you know the game, one bullet in the chamber five holes in the gun. Fifty percent chance of survival. Though to be fair looking at him I think the odds are stacked more in my favour"

She rolled her eyes raised the gun and it clicked. Fuck.

"There my first shot and it didn't hit now I'm gonna slid the gun to your baby brother and he's gonna put it to his head and he's gonna shoot because if he doesn't I'm gonna kick him in his already mangled leg and you can listen to him scream. Yeah I thought you wouldn't like the sound of that"

She rolled her eyes at Jamie and then very loudly so Danny could hear she slid the gun over to him.

Right now he thought looking at it, a bullet might be easier than another kick to the leg but she moved so she was sitting on the table next to him and he knew he didn't have a choice. He picked up the gun.

It had been five years since he'd had one of these. What was it he'd said once? _'And a gun now too that's a lot of responsibility'_.

Well he thought humourlessly, he hadn't been wrong. She put the phone back to his ear. "Listen darling, he's gonna do it now, if he lives he gets to speak to you, pretty good deal right?"

He picked up the gun and raised it feeling like he was on auto piolet. Had he started crying at some point?

She raised her foot and he shuddered swallowing down bile. He was speaking to Danny or Joe after this and that was what gave him the strength to put a gun to his head and pull the trigger.

Nothing happened. Daisy didn't even look surprised.

"Hey he's alive, so you get about a minute while I take my next shot"

She slid the phone to him and Jamie let out a sob that he was ashamed of reaching for the phone greedily. He managed to get it to his ear just as Daisy picked up the gun.

Danny as always was mid flow and Jamie took a second just to listen to his brother's voice, living proof that Danny Reagan was alive.

"Put him on the phone right now you sick bitch, Jamie? Jamie!" he shouted and Jamie bit back a whimper as more blood mingled in with the tears. Daisy grinned.

"Danny" he said after two attempts to speak. _"Danny"_ his voice broke again.

There was a pause for the briefest of seconds and then over the phone came the voice of his big brother as broken and as scared as he was. Even when they'd heard the news about Joe, about their Mom he had never heard Danny sound as scared as he was right now.

His brother's voice broke on a sob like he's had, but it was filled with so much wonder and so much love that Jamie felt like a warm blanket had been wrapped around him.

 _"_ _Jamie. Oh God, Jamie"_

* * *

 **Yeah you hate me for ending it on that cliffhanger I know.**

 **I will update as soon as I can. I hope you all enjoyed.**

 **And let me know what you think. **


	7. Russian Roulette

**Hi, so here is another chapter, this one was added because I had not intended for this point of view but then like so many of my stories the plot ran away with me!**

 **This is my first time writing probably in this point of view but I think it turned out ok and so many of you get what you want.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

* * *

Migration

Chapter 7-Russian Roulette

* * *

When Maria Baez had been a rookie she had seen a little girl shot in the street. She had been five and red haired and she had the look of surprise etched on her face. Maria had known at the tender age of twenty two that this child hadn't seen it coming. And telling the parents had been one of the worst things she had ever done in her life. She could remember with a stunning clarification that case, and it was still one of the three that kept her up at night.

The second one was a kidnapping rape case that had resulted in the death of three people and two cops and the third was...well...Jamie Reagan.

Maria had liked Jamie, had enjoyed spending time with him and had considered him a friend. Eddie she had known less but knew she was a solid cop. They had only become friends, real friends in the aftermath when everything had been upside down and Eddie had been the subject of gossip and the press. Hell when Jack Reagan had been brought in for punching that reporter Maria had actually gone and bought him a cinnamon roll and ignored Danny's exasperated if not faintly proud look.

She had gone down to the house in the weeks after the case had been closed and had brought along her mother's beef casserole at her insistence to a rather hollow Frank Reagan. It was hard to imagine the father when all she had seen as the Commissioner but there he was. And somehow she had ended up taking Eddie out for drinks which had resulted in Maria drinking far too much vodka that she had learned at far too a tender age could only end one way.

But they had become friends. It was hard to come by in this job and quickly she had tried to take the younger Reagan girl under her wing because she knew in a way Erin Reagan did not that being a cop at any age was isolating.

And she had more importantly, Danny Reagan's back. As much as it hurt her to see her partner kill himself over this investigation over the course of five years she had forced herself to help him even though she had always a sick feeling in her stomach when the papers came out.

A part of her on nights where it always got bad wished that there was a body. Jamie and the baby and no pain. God help her because she just wanted the despair that had formed a wall around her best friends too come crashing down.

And then Lily Reagan came into the prescient that day her blonde hair loose and her cheekbones sticking out in a way that Maria knew that if her mother had seen her she would have had a fit, and had told them all that she and her father were alive.

Danny had tried to be gentle his hands shaking and Maria had let him ask Lily questions alone as not to overwhelm the girl and because she found she needed five minutes alone in the bathroom.

There she had bent over the sink and cried for five minutes until she roughly managed to pull herself together, in order to stop the bile steadily rising in her throat she had wiped her eyes fiercly. This was her job and she knew Danny enough to know that he would be a mess. He did not need her to be one too.

She left the loos and saw the Commissioner standing there at the window. She moved to stand next to him and she told herself it was a cop offering comfort for another, and not that she wanted someone to put her arm around her and tell her they could fix this.

"Is she going home?" she asked and the Commissioner started.

"Yes" he said finally. Maria nodded.

"Lights and sirens" she said finally. "Your Dad made us set up the command at the house, wants to make sure that we keep it quiet not spook her, Lily I mean" she shrugged. "Danny brought in some rookies that he trusts, officers that owe him a few. You might never get them to leave, your father has better coffee than we do and is making grilled cheese and ensuring that every officer eats two of them because he thinks their underfed"

The Commissioner snorted at her his face filled with a sort of wry amusement before he turned his eyes back to the window.

"Thank you" he said finally. "I know Danny has not been...easy over the last five years, if there was a way I could give you a commendation I would"

It was such a brutal statement effecting her feelings that she felt her throat catch in response.

She swallowed but she suspected the Commissioner did not see her emotional reaction.

"I want this bitch" she said finally and then remembered that this was her boss she was stood next to.

"Sorry" she said but she saw he was smiling.

"Detective I suffer from hard hearing of late"

"Got you" she said smiling bitterly.

"I'll get the car" she said finally. "Once we lock Daisy Marchbanks location then we can get going"

The PC turned to look at her then.

"You haven't done that yet?" he asked and Maria shook her head.

"She has two alias and a property and God knows what else. We hit the first location which was her parents' house where she was supposed to be living after the death of her husband and baby daughter..." she stilled for a second and then ploughed on.

"We are looking into a second house which we think she rented but...she's good, I mean she's really good. She's been planning this for a long time."

Her boss nodded. There was a second where Maria tried to think of something to say. Instead she turned and stood at the door while Eddie, still looking like the world had been pulled out from under her and Danny helped that small, emancipated blonde girl that resembled her father so much.

There was a pause where she forced a smile on her frozen face. Lily was walking alone, she was still wearing those boots but someone had brought her a change of clothes. She was now stuffed into a pair of black leggings and a red jumper though it did little to hid how thin she was.

She didn't look at anyone and Maria thought then that this girl must be made of marble to be this strong.

"Are you coming back to the house?" Danny asked looking at his father.

"No" the PC shook his head. "I need to get to the office and start trying to put together some sort of response...Danny..." he said then and his tone became very dangerous. Danny on the other hand simply ignored it and waved his hand.

"Second I hear anything" was all he said.

And Maria took that as her departure.

* * *

They drove home in silence. For once Danny was obeying the limits and Eddie sat in the back of the SUV they had borrowed as Lily pressed her face against the window and stared with an almost hungry expression at the landscape.

It was both horrible and heartbreaking at the same time not in the least when it came to Eddie who was staring at her daughter as if she would bleed if she looked away from her.

Either the press still didn't know or Henry Reagan had gone through on the promise to shoot them from the living room window for stomping on his lawn.

Lily didn't say anything, she didn't even look up as they walked into the house and into the hallway.

"Danny" came a voice and they all turned to see Henry standing in the hallway. there cops were behind him spread out on the dinner table looking at maps and tuning equipment, she noticed that there was a large plate of grilled cheese and three pots of coffee. Rookies were always hungry and Maria knew them well enough to know Henry's simple generosity would send him down a legend in the ranks more than he already was.

Age, the loss of two grandsons and a great-granddaughter had done the older man some damage. He looked tired-well all of the Reagan family did nowadays but his eyes slid from a still frozen Eddie, to Danny, to her and then to Lily who was watching him with those big guarded blue eyes.

"Lily" was all he said and then with a flexible elegance that a man Henry's age should not have he bent down and wrapped both arms around the girl.

It was like a starting pistol went off. Danny jumped and Eddie who still had that half frozen look on her face started.

"Pops, maybe not...just give her some space." Danny said looking terrified and Maria knew then that it was because the little girl that had never been hugged by anyone but her father was staring at Henry in mild shock.

It was unnatural she thought with a wave of anger that a little girl like that could school her expressions when she was being touched as if waiting for the blow.

"To hell with space, I've been waiting five years for this" the older man said standing up and wincing as his knees cracked.

Lily watched him with her wide blue eyes. Henry watched her and Maria could tell when his hand clenched into a fist that he had took in the emancipated look she carried. When he spoke however his voice was gentle.

"I have just made some rookies a plate load of grilled cheese, would you like one?"

Lily stared at him and she turned to look at Danny who after a beat nodded encouragingly.

She turned back to Henry and her voice was small when she next spoke.

"I don't know what that is"

The fact that a child didn't know what a grilled cheese was hit her hard. Maria had to look away in order to gain a better grip on her emotions. Henry however didn't flinch.

"Well then" he said and then after another beat he held out his hand. "I guess we just have to make yours extra special"

Lily eyed him for a second and then considering him trustworthy she took his hand.

"Are you a cop too?" she asked.

"Used to be" Henry replied.

"Oh. Did you ever save any cats?"

Everyone blinked.

"You like cats?" Henry asked.

Another nod.

"Well as I make you...several sandwiches let me tell you all about the time I save a cat from a burning building"

"That's the firefighter's job" Lily deadpanned.

"Oh your young" Henry said and then with that he led the way into the kitchen Lily trailing behind him.

There was a pause.

"That went well" was all Danny said and then he was stalking off to the dinner table in order to yell Maria thought at the rookies, for breathing or looking happy.

Eddie seemed to sway where she stood and Maria noticed her hand had found her belly.

Gently she reached out to touch the other woman's hand and her eyes snapped to hers.

"He's alive" she said finally.

"I know" Maria said and her voice was calm.

"I thought..." Eddie shook her head. "I thought he'd have to be dead, I thought both of them...I never..." she shook her head again.

"You have done nothing wrong" Maria said hardening her voice. "Never think that you have done anything wrong, you survived where most people wouldn't have, the three of you did, and that means something. That means everything"

Eddie nodded.

"She looks right through me" she said finally.

Maria bit her lip.

"She's missing her Dad. Once we get Jamie back you can start again, the three of you"

Eddie snorted. "It won't be that easy" she said quietly. Maria nodded.

"No" she said finally. "But I know that Jamie is one of the strongest men that I know, you only have to look at that kid to know. She's a product of the both of you and she's been told some shit lies I reckon about where you were. So get your arse in there and be a Mom" she spoke harshly she'd admit, but she knew that Eddie needed it right now.

Eddie nodded without saying a word.

"Fuck" she whispered once and taking another deep breath she followed her friend into the house of her boss in order to help save his son.

* * *

Their break came surprisingly an hour or so later. Lily had been safely tucked away in the kitchen and Danny had been staring at the map in front of him his eyes unfocused. Maria had sent the rookies to the backroom in order to pull a comprehensive spreadsheet of the many escape routes that this woman could take and had another one calling the airports and ports circulating both Daisy's photo and Jamie's.

Danny had been staring at the map while she had been desperately thinking of something to say when his phone rang. Danny gave a long sigh reaching out to flick his phone open.

"Detective Reagan"

There was a pause and then Maria started as Danny half leapt out of his seat and the look on his face was so frightening that Maria felt her hand go to her gun.

Danny mouthed one word. "Trace"

Maria nodded all but kicking open the door and ordering a SWAT team on standby and a trace on Danny's phone. Henry caught her eye and she mouthed for once forgetting about protocol. "Frank".

He understood shutting the door keeping Lily and Eddie separate from the rest of the team working so desperately to keep his grandson alive. She swallowed hastily as an address was pushed into her hand. Whoever gave it to her was getting an award recommendation because they had worked damn quickly. She had barely enough time to shove the damn piece of paper in Danny's face before he realised what was happening.

Danny stared at her and then raced out the door so fast then he left her reeling.

Shit. She thought staring at the paper. This house where the phone call was coming from was at least ten minutes away. And there was no way in hell that she was letting him drive in the condition that she knew her partner would be in.

"Move" she snapped and Danny still clutching the phone like a lifeline got into the passenger seat with little effort. His hands were trembling around the phone and he placed it on loudspeaker and the woman that had ripped apart a family.

"I am coming for you, you bitch." Danny snarled as Maria forced the car into reverse and then forwards so that she was spinning out onto the highway.

 _"_ _Oh good your very efficient, I have to say, now your either at your house, your new one, your father's or your place of work so let's assume that I have ten minutes at the latest to play my game"_

Maria gritted her teeth, they were about ten minutes from the address they had gained from the rapid trace. Whatever game this woman wanted to play she could do it with ease. She forced herself to calm down driving carefully. It was remarkable however how normal this woman's voice was. How normal she was in comparison to how she had always somehow imagined her to be.

Danny's whole attention was on the phone, his body was curving towards it. It was the most vulnerable she had ever seen him and it made her heart hurt. This man had been her partner for nearly ten years now and she had never seen him like this. Not even when Jamie had been taken the first time and she had seen her partner force coffee down his throat in order to stay awake.

"You bitch. If there is one hair on his head hurt I swear I will rip you limb from limb." Danny growled and his voice was half terrified, half filled with a fury that she had never seen before. There was a pause and then she spoke again and when she did it was with such conviction that Maria already increasing the speed limit and the sounds of the sirens so approaching traffic would learn to _get the fuck out of her way._

 _"_ _You wanna speak to him? Before we play?"_ she asked. Danny turned to stare at her with shock and Maria tried to focus on the road but she could feel her stomach churn in anguish. Hope was something Danny had clung to and she had never been sure how he had managed it.

She had once tried the same thing with her own brother and that had ended...well...less than great.

Just when she was trying to figure out how to kick Danny in order to get him to respond he was taking a shaky breath. She pretended she didn't notice how his eyes were suddenly overbright and how his hands were shaking.

"Game?" she mouthed because if they were stepping into a trap then she sure as hell wanted to know about it.

"Game?" Danny asked his voice still strong.

There was a soft laugh over the other end of the line.

 _"_ _Oh come on Detective you know the game, one bullet in the chamber, five holes in the gun. Fifty percent chance of survival. Though to be fair looking at him I think the odds are stacked in my favour."_

Two things happened at once. Danny swore so loud and with such a horrific look on his face and he banged the dashboard so hard that Maria couldn't help but shrink back into her seat. She knew what kind of game that this woman wanted to play. This was Russian Roulette, this was one of the most deadliest and dangerous sports there was and this was unspeakably cruel because this bitch knew that Danny could not listen or see another brother's death, she checked the clock.

There was another ten minutes what with diversions. This woman must have known that-with a sinking clarification Maria realised that she had had five years and two more days in order to put this in play. She had to swallow down the lump in her throat. For the first time in her entire career she was utterly helpless.

There was a very good chance that she was going to have to listen to a man that she liked and respected shoot himself in the head and she would sit next to his brother while he did it.

This was something that she knew she was never going to recover from.

Lost in her own thoughts and the incoming traffic as she sped down the highway trying to find the next exit she missed what Danny was shouting his hands shaking so much that as she pulled off into the same district that this woman was living in she only heard the click of what she suspected was Jamie's first shot.

"Put him on the phone" Danny said and what was frightened Maria the most was that he was no longer shouting, he was no longer looking drained or terrified or furious, he looked simply defeated. She had never seen him look like that. Defeat was etched on every line on his face and his eyes were shut as if opening them was too much.

He sounded pleading and he sounded exhausted and Maria felt her heart break.

There was two clicks. She tried desperately to calculate through the tears that were falling thick and fast, Maria wiped them away impatiently. She couldn't fall apart, they were seven minutes away even as she was flooring it on the gas.

Why the hell couldn't people get out of their way? Lights and sirens used to mean something.

"Put him on the phone right now you sick bitch, Jamie? Jamie!" Danny yelled and it sounded like it was the last yell he would ever give because simply his voice wouldn't keep going.

Maria took a left and hoped like hell the SWAT team were either there or behind them.

Six minutes.

There was a crackling over the phone and she stiffened slightly even as she felt more tears spill from her eyes at the sight of her partner's utter defeat.

 _"_ _Danny"_

Danny looked up from where he was bent over at the waist, in disbelief, Maria took a sharp right and nearly rammed the car into a tree in shock. That was Jamie Reagan. That was Jamie's voice. That was his voice as clear as day.

He was _alive_.

"Jamie" Danny whispered. "Oh god Jamie"

There was a split second of silence.

"Lily?" That was Jamie's voice and it was heartbreaking small. If Maria had anything left of her heart that was not shattered in millions of pieces then it would have slowly shattered now.

Danny nodded all but leaping out of his seat. Maria checked the clock and wacked her hand on the horn so the grey Mercedes in front knew to move the fuck out the way.

"She's fine, she's with Eddie now I promise you, Jay...I'm coming to get you ok you just keep hanging on and I'll come and get you. I promise"

"Knew you'd never stop looking" Jamie breathed once.

Danny nodded even more desperation etched clearly on his face.

"Never stopped. Hell Maria will tell you that, I never stopped looking for you, course I couldn't your my baby brother"

The car in front finally got the message and Maria was able to do a move as well as a hand signal that was not legal while the sirens were going.

There was a third click.

"Dan" Jamie said slowly there was something in his voice that Maria could not like, would never like. It was defeat and that was wrong she realised in the voice of the Reagan family. They never accepted, defeat or surrender, they never retreated, they kept coming. Defeat was wrong and yet both surviving brothers were defeated in this moment and she was the only witness.

Nothing would ever make her forget this moment.

God they were still three minutes out and if she pushed this car any further she knew that it would pack up all together.

"Yeah" Danny breathed leaning forwards so his nose was almost touching his phone.

"She's taking two goes in one." and he said it with such simplicity that Maria had to choke out a sob, for she knew what this would mean. Danny shook his head denial, horror, terror all emotions etched on his face.

"No" he said his voice wavering. Maria turned the car so that she was near the street, one turn and they would be there.

There was another click and Danny moaned once. Maria sobbed not even bothering to hide it anymore.

"Game over" came a voice. Maria shook her head in denial and fury. Danny looked beyond words. She turned the car left so sharply she nearly crashed it. This was just a normal street hiding a monster. She looked at the piece of paper hastily thrown in the car, she was looking for number 32. And SWAT she noticed, was not here.

"Danny" it was Jamie again and his voice sounded so calm it was eerie.

"Is Maria there?"

Danny turned to look at her. Maria pulled her eyes away from the houses and turned to the phone. It took her a second before she could speak.

"Jamie" she said and she was amazed at how calm her voice was. "I'm here, were coming to get you"

Jamie laughed once without any humour.

"Can you do me a favour, I'm really sorry to ask you this?"

How could he be worried about that at a time like this she wondered?

"Anything" she said. God they were three doors away.

"Please don't let him be the first one in through the door" there was another clicking sound and Jamie made a small noise that Danny instinctively flinching.

"Please don't let him be the first to see my body"

At the word body Danny moaned again his whole body constricting in pain. Maria wiped her eyes as she slammed a foot on the breaks.

"I promise" she said because what else could she say.

"Dan" Jamie said as they pulled up.

"Danny" he said once and then...

BANG.

Danny screamed loud and long his whole body constricting as Maria slammed the breaks in front of the house her whole body heaving. She was going to be sick.

Danny was half bent over mumbling nonsense his whole body shaking with sobs and screams, and Maria tried to think but she couldn't. She couldn't think over the shouts and the screaming of the man next to her who had now lost both of his brothers. She sobbed once her body heaving again and then remembered that she had promised Jamie something.

She thought there was no way she could do it, and then she remembered that this had been the one thing that Jamie had asked her to do, the last thing and she had no choice.

"Danny" she said wiping her face and forcing him to look at her. He had a glazed look on his face but his eyes were beginning to focus.

His mouth silently formed his brother's name and Maria sobbed again at how lost he looked.

"Danny" she said quietly. "We need to go, we need to assess the scene"

Danny stared at her in disbelief.

"I don't...I can't..." he turned to look at the house and then at her.

"I am not leaving you" she said shaking her head.

"If you don't want to see..." she shook her head as the vomit rose in her mouth.

"No" Danny said stubbornly. "No I don't...I have to see him"

She nodded gripping his hand.

"Then let's do our job" she said finally.

How she forced herself out the car and kept a steady hand on her gun she did not know.

There was a pause when they got to the door and Maria realised that she was the one that had to kick it down. It took her two goes and she realised that she was still shaking when she raised her gun. Danny followed but he was shaking so bad that she knew the entire search would be on her.

There was no movement from the stairs and she noticed a door that led to the basement.

Fuck.

Danny had noticed it too.

He lifted his gun this time but she noticed that his hands were steady even though his face was the colour of milk. There was a pause and Maria moved to stand in front of the door. There was no way she would not do as Jamie had asked. She swallowed once before gritting her teeth and raising her gun. Perhaps this was against procedure not checking upstairs but right now she didn't care, if that woman made a move either upstairs or downstairs Maria would personally kick the shit out of her and smile at IA with no regret.

This had been coming a long five years.

She kicked down the door with the same force that she had used for the front Danny right behind her. There was a set of steps that led into one room and she saw what had been Lily Reagan's home for five years.

For a child Maria could see that this would be nothing that would cause confusion. There was one bed, a bathroom, a small kitchen in the corner. Several pictures scrawled on the wall where Jamie had tried to keep his daughter's life as normal as possible under the circumstances.

And there was a dead body on the floor.

She looked. Danny was still coming down the stairs. It was a woman. A woman with hastily dyed hair and scrubs and converse. The gun was on the floor and her brains were splattered on the floor as well.

It wasn't Jamie.

There was a clatter behind her and nearly jumped out of her skin, it was Danny. His gun clearly hadn't been on because there was no shot. She turned looking up from the body on the floor and saw what had made his knees goes week and his eyes go wide with horror and wonder.

There was a table in the corner, so shaded that she had nearly missed it. She edged closer but Danny had already shoved past her.

There was someone tied she realised to the table. She moved to see and nearly dropped her own gun her other hand coming to her mouth as the scream nearly escaped.

Standing there, well really using the table to not collapse, his leg half gone from under him, looking emancipated, more so than his daughter, stubble covering his face and his eyes wide and big in his face again much like his daughter, blood splattered across it and a stunned far-away look on his face as if he wasn't seeing anything was Jamison Reagan.

Danny let out a sob his whole body crumbling as he half ran towards his little brother who was staring at the woman that had held him captive dead on the floor. Maria bent over to pick up the gun and then turned around in an effort to give the Reagan brother's some privacy.

Jamie was alive.

 _"_ _Oh God"_ Danny was saying, his hand coming up to touch his brother's face before his Detective training kicked in. the blood Maria knew, staining Jamie's face was now evidence, an unspeakably cruel punishment too two men who had depended on each other so much.

 _"_ _Jamie"_ he whispered again.

Maria heard the SWAT team arrive better late than fucking never, she thought irritably forcing herself to stop the sobbing and control her shaking, and she found she wanted to go home to her Momma and curl up in her lap like she had done when she had witnessed that stomping when she was ten and cry until she felt better even though she knew that nothing would ever be the same again.

She didn't realise until much, much later that she was still shaking when the Commissioner arrived.

* * *

 **And let me know what you think, your reviews are like magic to me. **


	8. Brother

**Hi, so here is another chapter, finally we are on the right track.**

 **For those of you that asked if this was based a little bit on Law and Order SVU, it is, this story is half based on the film room and little bits from episodes of what can only be described as a brilliant TV show, not including Blue Bloods obviously.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

 **Another chapter will be posted soon, I think maybe six or seven chapters to finish this story and then I might come back and do a sequel based on some of the more psychological side of things-depending on how I feel.**

 **And what with everything going on in the world i ask as well as reviewing that everyone please try and stay safe.**

* * *

Migration

Chapter 8-Brother

* * *

For one endless moment Danny had stood there.

He had forced his legs into that house quite convinced he was going to see his brother, his last remaining brother on the floor blood on his face and a hole in his skull and he was still unsure of how they had avoided that predicament.

He thought he would have to bury Jamie and that thought had crippled him but a thought, while sitting in that car Maria heaving with sobs next to him had dominated all thoughts.

He could not...no he would not leave Jamie alone in that prison.

He hadn't been there. For Joe. Oh he had been at the hospital but that was it. He hadn't been there holding his brother as he had bled to death on the floor. Only one cop had been there with Joe. The others had turned on him.

It had haunted him ever since the truth had come out.

But for an endless second he had stared between the body on the floor trying to convince himself that it was not Jamie before he looked up and saw Jamie in the corner.

Maria went up both to deal with SWAT and to give them a moment of privacy and for that Danny had never loved her or trusted her more. He knew they had broken more than a few rules in this and he knew that she would turn in her shield rather than betray him and he also knew that there was a good chance she'd get a nice bottle every year for the rest of her life but that was neither here nor there.

Jamie was swaying even as Danny tried to undo the ropes tying him to the table. Danny looked down desperately soaking up all of his brother that he could see and noticed that his leg was twisted below the knee at an odd ankle blood dripping though the old jeans he was wearing. He swallowed down the vomit and the tears as finally he managed to manoeuvre his baby brother into his arms.

He didn't realise he was still saying Jamie's name over and over until his brother forced his dull blue eyes onto his face.

"Danny" it was a half cracked whisper but Danny was taking what he could get and being eternally grateful for it right now.

"Hey" he said gently. Touching Jamie's face was out of the question but he managed to make it to the bed just as Jamie's leg gave out. He kept one arm around him but Jamie was looking around his eyes wide. He was close to freaking out Danny knew.

"You came?" It came out as a question and Danny closed his eyes to the pain. How had Jamie ever doubted that he would come for him? That he would never stop looking while there was still hope and even after?

"Course I came Jamie" he said finally after working his vocal cords. "Did you...God of course I would come for you. Never stopped looking for you Jay" he curled one arm around his brother. Maria must be doing wonders to keep SWAT out he realised.

Jamie looked around the room that had been his home for five years with a stunned expression that made him look so much younger than he was. He looked older though, worn down and so thin...he had thought Lily was bad but he was willing to bet his badge that his brother had made her eat more than he had and the blood...God the _blood_. It was everywhere and Danny couldn't tell where it was coming from but couldn't move Jamie yet because he was unsure what that would do.

"Danny" Jamie was whispering and he was looking around with a horrible sort of fear. He forced himself to his feet and Danny went with him scared of leaving him standing on his own. He swayed but gritted his teeth and Danny almost smiled at the stubborn Jamie returning if it hadn't been so sad.

"Danny" he looked around the blood still drying on his face.

"Danny where's Joe?"

It was like being shot. Danny gazed at him unable to keep the horror of his face he knew. Jamie stared around the room as if expecting Joe to appear from a corner and Danny with a horrible clarity understood that his brother had expected to die. Had spoken to Danny on the phone expecting to see Joe again in the afterlife or whatever.

He let out a little moan that had Jamie turning to face him, his own face so horribly vacant.

"Joe..." Danny said shaking his head again.

"Jamie, Joe's dead"

Jamie blinked his face going surprised and then it changed. He gave a week little self-deprecating laugh.

"Oh" he said his voice so small that Danny had to bite down his whimper again.

"Danny" he said and something in Jamie's expression made him wrap one arm firm around his brother because it was an expression filled with the same sick hope Danny knew he himself had felt when he had seen Lily not two days ago.

"You're here?"

Danny forced himself to bite down the pain.

"Yeah kiddo I'm here"

"I'm alive?"

Danny closed his eyes for the briefest of seconds.

"Yeah kiddo"

Jamie looked around once and then nodded his face white with determination but tinged green with pain.

"I need to leave"

Danny nodded. He could work with that he knew.

"Lean on me" he said and Jamie did so without argument.

Danny forced him up the stairs, probably the first time in five years he realised that he had been up them and into the living room.

SWAT was milling around but upon seeing them immediately pulled back in a respectful silence. Danny could tell many of them were shocked. His brother was bleeding, broken and in a great deal of both pain and shock but he seemed to emit some sort of inner strength that even the most hardened of cops had never seen before.

Maria was stood at the door. Her hand flew to her stomach as if to hold back the gasp but when she saw Jamie and Danny her smile was gentle. She gave no indication but the hand on her stomach that she had been taken by surprise by his appearance and Jamie half limped towards her a trembling emancipated hand coming out to clutch hers.

"Thanks" he managed his voice so weak that it was barely audible.

Maria's smile never fell and her voice was unspeakably gentle, almost motherly.

"Come on Jamie" she said gently. "There's no need to thank me, we've got you now"

They managed to make it outside and then Jamie stopped on the front step his whole body trembling.

There was a breeze running through the grass and the sounds of the city. He had to, Danny realised with another lurch of sickening grief, relearn all the sounds and smells he'd been denied.

His skin he noticed was paper thin and paper white too, his face in the light under the blood was covered in a thin stubble and his hair was growing a little longer than the regs would allow but he was so horribly thin that Danny now seeing him in the light was amazed he'd had the strength to move at all.

There was a wound at his temple and his hand was broken, from the way he was breathing Danny would guess two ribs as well but his leg was of the most concern.

But still his brother found the strength to force his way down the stairs and onto the pavement.

"Lily" he said simply.

"At the house" Danny said back and Jamie nodded.

"I have to go" he said and Danny started. Maria nodded once knowing as much as he did that his brother would probably start walking in any direction if he wasn't stopped.

"We need to check your leg Jamie" she said sweetly. "You need to go to hospital"

He noticed the ambulance and then without warning started shaking like a spooked Chowilla in Danny's arms.

"No" his voice was shaking and Danny knew that the shock was beginning to kick in.

"No" he turned to Danny.

"Car" he said finally.

Who was Danny to refuse that?

Maria got them to the back seat and Danny forced Jamie to sit down. His brother was shaking so badly that he was practically vibrating.

"Your Dad is on his way" Maria muttered. Danny nodded. God knows how Jamie was going to react to that but he knew his father well enough to know that the second Maria had rang him he had been on the way to the car.

"Did you hear that Jamie?" he asked his brother. "Dad's on his way"

Jamie didn't even hear him.

"Danny?"

"Yeah kiddo?"

"She shot herself. Pointed the gun at me and said this would be the one last thing we shared and then swapped hands and shot herself. It's gonna look like I did it, she was smart like that. She's gonna win"

Oh shit.

Personally Danny couldn't see how anyone could blame Jamie for this but he had never fully understood the politics behind his father. It wouldn't hurt to get Jamie someone in his corner. Erin would be no help and...Well there was only one person Danny (regrettably) still trusted to handle this shit.

Maria caught his eye and Danny knew that they were both thinking Daisy Marchbanks had gotten off easily.

"Nobody is gonna think you did anything other than what you were forced to do" she said bending down so Jamie was forced to look at her. Danny gripped her shoulder in order to keep the emotions of his face but to Maria's credit she did not flinch.

"Don't say anything" she said just as gentle. "We can handle it"

Either Jamie was so out of it or Danny was but both of them seemed to take her words at face value.

Jamie was still shaking and Danny wished his brother would just get in the ambulance. He was half convinced to take him to the hospital himself but he wasn't sure if he could leave right now. There was no way in hell he could drive even his brain registered that fact and Maria was still shaking almost as bad as Jamie was her face smeared with her eyeliner and her eyes red.

Instead he bent down so that he could take Jamie's hand in his own, the only good thing he could do right now and try to focus on the real flesh and blood in front of him, proof that he had solved the one case he had torn himself up about.

His brother was _alive_.

There was a screeching noise and Jamie flinched instinctively. Danny scowled but he saw the black SUV coming down the road at such a speed he thought for a second someone had let his grandfather behind the wheel.

"Dad's here" he said finally but Jamie was still staring into space his leg still dangling out the car at that terrible angle. Maria made a small coughing noise and then disappeared.

It was Baker that had been in the car with him along with Gormley and the three of them formed a little group at the head of the car Maria giving a rundown he imagined of what had happened. Her shaking was still obvious so much so that his ex-boss swept of his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders without even thinking.

His father got out the car and waved without seeing the salutes.

His eyes were on Danny who didn't want to imagine what his facial expression was like. Their eyes met and Danny nodded once his throat too tight to speak.

"Dad's here" he said again but Jamie was no longer listening, Danny didn't think he had registered anything in the last ten minutes.

His father half ran round the car with a surprising speed for a man of his age until he was standing there next to them. Jamie still didn't look at him.

For a second he thought his father was going to collapse. Danny half reached out to grip his wrist but before he could his Dad had pulled himself together with such a speed it was impressive.

"Jamie?" he whispered and it was half a whisper and half a question.

Jamie didn't even move.

"I think he's in shock" Danny muttered. His Dad nodded his own face set in stone.

"Jamie" he whispered again. Danny knew exactly what was going through his father's mind. The need to touch Jamie, to make sure that he was there in front of them was almost overwhelming. Danny felt slightly ill at the thought that this could be a dream but the dreams and the nightmares of finding Jamie alive and finding his body had somewhat blurred together over the course of the last five years.

But then again his father was a cop and the blood drying on Jamie's face was evidence. Instead his father went for touching the car about Jamie's head his fingernails scratching the paint in order to keep the emotions to himself.

Jamie's face turned then to stare at the two of them.

"Dad" he said once and then he turned his eyes downwards to stare at his leg.

"Dad" he said again and then he turned his head and vomited all over the floor.

It could have Danny thought to himself, been a lot worse. At least it hadn't hit their shoes. Not that he minded that much but Jamie was still heaving and Danny had a feeling that his brother was an inch away from a fully-fledged panic attack.

His father seemed to be on the same line of reasoning as well because with a remarkable effort he managed to control his emotions and bend down to Jamie's level.

"Son" he said his hand just shy of touching Jamie's back.

"I think we need to go to hospital now"

"Lily" Jamie said again. "I want to see Lily" he closed his eyes.

"And Eddie" he mumbled.

His father nodded.

"We can do that"

Jamie nodded once and then reached with his hand towards Danny.

"Danny" he said again and his voice was slurring together. "I wanna stay with Danny"

Wild horses wouldn't have dragged Danny away so he slid into the car next to his brother, his baby brother, and let him lean his head on his shoulder.

"It's ok" he said into the mess of hair on Jamie's head. "It's ok kiddo. We got you. I got you"

And then because it was true at least in this moment he could promise Jamie this.

"I won't let anything or anyone hurt you again. I promise" he shook his head once in an effort to gain some control on his emotions.

God, Mom, Joe...whoever was up there, he pleaded. Please let him be able to keep that promise.

* * *

 **And let me know what you think. Danny's POV is nearly always a nightmare for me.**

 **Updates will come soon. **


	9. A Long Way Back

**Hi, so here is another chapter and I would put the remaining at four chapters, this is not intended to be a long story and instead focuses on the immediate aftermath rather than the long term. That being said that's not to say there might not be a couple of one shots in the work based on this.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine except Lily.**

 **Also this was just an excuse to get Jack Boyle who I always rather liked into the story. Soon you will get to see what hell he and Erin can unleash on the DA.**

 **And this is also the last of Frank's point of view.**

* * *

Migration

Chapter 9-A Long Way Back

* * *

Jamie was alive.

Jamie was _alive_.

 _Jamie was alive._

His thoughts were disjointed, disorientated and jumbled in his brain but he understood those three simple words. His son, his baby, Jamie, was alive.

It had taken half an hour for them to convince Jamie to go to the hospital. Danny had bent down to stare at his little brother's face when Jamie's unfocused eyes had finally nodded. He had refused to go in the ambulance, everytime that Danny had tried his baby boy had shuddered like his whole body was bathed in ice and Frank had never felt less inclined to force a police officer to go to the hospital than now.

So eventually Jamie had curled up, twisted and broken leg and the pain notwithstanding and had refused to so much as say a word to Danny or Frank as he had thrown caution to the wind and had sat in the back of the unmarked detective car.

Oh Baker was so not going to be happy when she found out. She would do that thing with her eyes that would make Frank want to give her a pay rise as well as several offers of promotion.

However he had climbed into the car with his son. Jamie hadn't said a word and everytime that Frank had tried to speak Jamie had barely looked up from the blood coating his one hand that still...well resembled a hand.

Danny had not said so much as a word when Frank had arrived other than what he had whispered to Jamie and Frank didn't want to try talking to Danny either. He had left Maria Baez with Sid and he trusted his right hand man to make sure that she got home or to the hospital in one piece but this had been the woman that had but up with Danny's crap for nearly a decade. If she was falling to pieces then God only knew what his eldest was going through.

Danny himself looked exhausted. He looked like he had been the one held hostage for five years. Frank had barely got a good look at Jamie but his son's eyes were on the window staring at the landscape in the same way his daughter had done previously. There was a silent shift in the car and Frank could see Danny staring at him from the mirror. He was still shaking Frank realised. Whatever had taken place on their way to finding Jamie had shaken two of his best detectives and that made Frank's stomach churn.

They got to the hospital and Jamie stood up standing on his own. Pride filled him, his boy was still standing, still gritting his teeth and still trying to stand alone. He moved to touch Jamie once he had gotten himself out the car, which had taken longer than he was willing to admit. God those detective cars were bad on the back. Give him his comfy SUV any day of the week, but Jamie had staggered his leg twisting away from any kind of touch. His face was still horrifically blank but there was a determination on it that Frank had never seen before.

He seemed to be in his own world he realised. Danny was watching horror etched on his face but Frank couldn't say a word as Jamie painfully walked or limped his way to the front of the ER entrance. Linda was stood there and the pain on her face was enough to make Frank look away. She moved to touch her brother in law but Jamie flinched again looking around his eyes wide. Theresa was stood behind her watching intently her arms folded.

Perhaps she, as Jack's girlfriend who had never met Jamie could see his injuries from a medical perspective rather than the emotional ones that everyone else had.

Jamie stared around for one second longer and then Frank...and Danny saw it coming. His leg crumpled under him, his eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed.

Danny caught him before he hit the ground and while his wife stared at the crumpled body of Frank's youngest child, it was Theresa who started barking out instructions.

"What happened?" he forced himself to ask coming closer to the gurney that Danny had half carried his brother onto.

"The adrenaline that was keeping him standing has drained him." Theresa said finally, flashing her light in Jamie's eyes. She looked up her dark hair tumbling from her head and Frank was suddenly reminded of a young Mary, determined and brave and beautiful. Jack had really picked someone he'd give his grandson that.

"His body's been delaying this reaction for a while but I think everything just mixed together and his body just needs to...stop"

She turned around and then shouted something to another woman who nodded. Linda was following along but somewhere she had become glued to her husband's side and Frank wasn't sure that she was leaving him until she got him into a chair. He still however, couldn't take his eyes of his son whose body was rhythmically twitching under the hands of the many people that were trying to figure out what was wrong with him.

* * *

He had still been stood there in the waiting room when they whisked him off, Theresa going with them and Linda pulling herself together so that she could help the girl scrap her hair back while her hands were busy trying to stem the bleeding from Jamie's leg.

He had still been stood there when his daughter and his grandchildren came in, when Garrett, Baker, Baker's husband and kids (because her youngest was Lily's age and Baker thought ahead like that) Sid, Tony and Maria came in the latter curling her legs around her and still wrapped in Sid's jacket, and he was still stood there when his father, and Eddie and Lily came in.

* * *

Eddie had gone the same shade of white that Danny had. His eldest son had been sat in a chair, his wife curled around him keeping in his seat. He had left only once to make a phone call and then had sat back down again his jaw so tight it looked like it might crack in two.

Lily had sat down on a chair, her legs sticking out her old boots dangling off the edge of the hard plastic. Her knees were cleaned from the scrapes and looked clean thanks to his Pops but she was still in the small nightdress to her knees and the old thin jumper that in the light of day was worn thin. However her chin was high and her eyes unflinching. She didn't even look at her mother or Frank he noticed. Her eyes were fixed on the wall. Baker's youngest went and sat next to her for a while but he could see Lily's ice walls remain. She clearly didn't know what to do when it came to speaking and interacting with strangers and it made his heart shatter that little bit more. But still he remained standing because Frank had sat down over a decade ago when he had been told that one son was dead and he didn't think he could stand sitting down when he was being told what his baby boy had gone through in that hell hole.

Cops were pouring in some of them coming in straight of tour. The news that Jamie Reagan had been found alive had spread through the ranks like an infectious disease at a high school and cops from all over were pouring in to support a brother at a time of need. It made his heart both crack again and made him proud all at once.

There was a movement at the door and Nikki's cry of "Dad" made him look up.

It was Jack Boyle.

He was standing there looking like he wished to be anywhere else but he met Frank's eye. As much as he had always hated that about Jack he had also admired that about him...deep down.

"Hey" Danny said without looking up. "Thanks for coming"

Frank turned to his son and knew from the look that his father was also giving Danny that the incredulity was plain on their faces, Erin was looking between her brother and her ex-husband as if she was watching a tennis match. Lily was watching with interest and Eddie who had collapsed into a chair was watching Danny with wide eyes. Frank actually couldn't remember if Jack had been at the house five years ago.

Danny stood up with what felt like a struggle. His usually strong son looked exhausted and he gestured with his one hand for Jack to pull a chair closer. Looking confused he did and Danny sat back down again pulling the family in closer so that they were closed off. However Frank noticed with a wry sort of amusement that Tony, Maria, Sid, Garrett and Baker were included without question.

"We got a problem" Danny said finally. Baker took that as an indication to ask Lily if she wanted to go for some hot chocolate. The little girl was clearly both tired and in dire need of some comfort but she shot Frank a look under her long eyelashes. He nodded hoping that it would give the girl some comfort that she would be safe.

Eventually she went.

"It's not clear cut" Danny said finally. "Her...the death it's not clear cut. And the DA's not exactly fond of us right now so I called Jack in because if this shit hits the fan we need a good lawyer that can get somewhere near this without compromising herself"

By this he took that Danny meant Erin.

And then he talked. Frank understood that his eldest boy was talking so fast and not stopping because if he did then Danny would be lost.

And when the story came out Frank honestly couldn't blame him. it had taken every inch of his willpower not to collapse though Garrett had to help his father into a chair and Maria still looking shaken moved so that she was sat next to Eddie who had become even more frozen as time went on.

"Holy shit" Jack breathed and it was a mark of how horrified that Linda was that she didn't rebuke her son, his other daughter was staring at her husband tears falling thick and fast down her face. He realised that Erin had moved to her ex-husband's side and that Nikki had somehow gone over their as well. He also noticed that Jack Boyle had curled one hand around his ex-wife's hand and the other around his daughter's knee.

It seemed like a long time before he was done. By this point Maria had started shivering again and Sid had placed a hand on her shoulder in order to keep the girl (and really she was that wasn't she?) grounded. Eddie had not moved so much of an inch, in fact she seemed frozen her hands curled on her chair perfectly.

"Shit indeed" Jack said finally wrapping one hand around Erin's again.

"This complicates things?" that was Garrett looking confused as well as ashen.

"Depends" Jack said thinking. "Worst case scenario-the DA hauls him in front of a grand-jury and tries him for justifiable homicide"

"We were there" it was the first words Maria Baez had spoken. She was still shivering and Sid whose hand was on her shoulder was white to the lips.

Jack paused. "You were outside. He clearly had access to the gun, it's gonna show his fingerprints and hers. She switched hands at the last minute. Look" he leaned forwards pausing.

"Good chance the DA doesn't wanna touch this. He's a Reagan, he's been kidnapped and injured and the Lord only knows what. He's gonna generate a huge amount of public sympathy not only in your own ranks but amongst the public. Lily is going to give him some protection but...well...the press is all about transparency these days and...If worse comes to worse I will defend him free of charge. Oh don't look like that" he said acknowledging Henry's eye roll. He turned to look at Erin.

"Between the two of us we have enough chips to keep this off the table. With any luck the DA will see this as what it is but...this DA. The new one? Political to the core."

Frank hated to admit that Jack may have had a point.

He could also cash in a few chips and ensure that there was some political protection against whatever the hell was going to happen and as much as he loathed to admit this ground, Jack was a bloody brilliant lawyer and if he was going to get anyone to defend Jamie (unless the guys from the OJ trial were still free-because good god that TV show as like reliving those days again when he'd had four little ones and was still stunned by what was happening) then he wanted it to be Jack Boyle.

"I can quit if needs be"

It was the first time Erin had spoken since she had arrived at the hospital. Her face was a mask of determination. Jack shot her a look that was half exasperated and half awe.

"They don't want to lose my 99% conviction rate to private practice"

Yeah, Frank now officially did not like the look on his daughter's ex-husband's face. If he asked Erin to go home with him he was officially opening fire.

But none of that mattered (well it did but not right now) because his son was in surgery and his girlfriend and mother of his child had not moved so much as a muscle.

"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it" he said finally. "Look" he knew that there was no point in clearing away his family but at least he could do something about all the masses.

"Sid get them back to work" he pointed at the cops milling at the doorway. "Garrett. Try and cob together something. Some sort of response will you? Tony..." he shot Maria a look. "Take Detective Baez home and do not leave until her Mother or some semi-responsible family member arrives. Someone find Baker tell her to get her kids home and that she needs to cancel all of my appointments for the foreseeable future and that includes all visiting dignitaries and anything with the Mayor"

He was rather proud of how his voice didn't tremble or how quickly his second in commands leapt into action. Tony stood there

He turned to try and see how Eddie was reacting but she seemed to have adopted Jamie's stance of not looking at anyone or speaking.

But holy shit.

 _His baby was alive._

"She's dead"

It came from his father who was looking at Danny who was leaning his head on Linda's shoulder looking exhausted, Linda was gently dusting her fingers down the back of his head, a rare display of intimacy that had reminded Frank of when they were newly married, when they were at Joe's funeral and when Jamie had first disappeared. Whenever Danny had gotten in over his head, Linda had stood by his side.

Danny nodded. "Yeah, Daisy's dead"

There was a crash behind him and they turned to see Lily.

Shit.

She had dropped her cocoa on the floor and was staring at Danny as if he had just slapped her around the face. It was heartbreaking to see in a child's face and now more than ever he could see the resemblance between her and her father.

With a horribly slow movement Eddie turned to stare at her daughter but Frank was willing to bet at least six secret family recipes that she was really not seeing what was in front of her.

Instead he turned his attention to Lily who was staring for one endless second and then her eyes so blue and big in her face like her father filled with tears. Instead of letting them brim over however she turned and ran down the hallway.

"Oh shit" Danny said finally but his father was already heaving himself to his feet.

"No" he said and with considerable skill that his father should not have at his age Frank thought his back still aching from that damn car he stood up.

"I'll go and speak to her, we seemed to get on well and...Someone should be here when Theresa and the Doctors get out" he caught Frank's eye and shot a look in Eddie's direction that Frank registered.

Eddie was standing up the second he was gone. She seemed to sway for a second and then she turned and walked away straight down the hallway in another direction her head held high and her expression as smooth as glass.

"What the fuck?" Danny asked looking at him.

"I'll handle this" he said finally. God knows that sending Danny after Eddie would never fix anything.

"Erin" he said finally because Danny went back to leaning his head on his wife's shoulder and pretending that his boys hadn't been pacing up and down the corridor for the past hour.

"Second we know something I'll let you know"

Apparently we now included Jack.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Eddie was hardly difficult to find. She had walked out into the downpour and judging by the look of what was on the floor she had thrown up several times. She was wiping her mouth with her sleeve and she was trembling so violently Frank thought she might be sick again.

She made a small move when Frank tried to step forwards shaking her head, but the father in him was not going to leave this girl alone in the rain trying desperately to keep herself together.

He ignored her and pulled her regardless of the rain into his chest. Eddie lasted about a second and then her legs went out so that she was curled on his lap her whole body shaking with sobs that he knew would soon turn into screams.

Frank could understand why she had been holding all this back, why she was screaming with grief and pain at what she had lost and what she had regained and all the emotion that came with it.

Because Jamie was alive.

And he knew comforting one of Jamie's girls while his father tried to help the other, just assuredly as he had known the morning before when he seen his son in that car and the look on his face, that they were in for a long way back from hell.

* * *

 **So let me know what you think**

 **Updates coming soon. **


	10. Support System

**Hi, so here is another chapter, this will be a mass update because I will be going on holiday soon. There is three more chapters left so I might get this done I might not. But I can confirm that we have had the last Lily's point of view and the last one of Frank's.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

* * *

Migration

Chapter 10-Support System.

* * *

Lily had tried to stay awake, really she had tried so hard to stay awake forcing her body to run on an overdrive that Daddy had once told her was not healthy. He had said this she remembered when she had just turned five and he had been bleeding from his leg again and Lily had stayed up to make sure it didn't turn green or black like the pictures showed on the TV whenever she went upstairs.

That night she had drank orange juice in small controlled sips and had forced her eyes open whenever she felt them drooping shut. But she had been on her own then.

Now she had no such luck.

Daisy was dead, she had tried not to cry, she had tried not too really but despite everything she could not stop the tears that blurred her eyes. She knew deep down that at least to her she hadn't been a bad person. Ok so she had once been thrown clear across a room for asking her if she knew who Eddie Janko was but other than that she could not think of a time when the woman had done something to upset her.

She used to take Lily upstairs and make her hot chocolate and chocolate chip and banana pancakes on her birthday. She would allow Lily to sit in garden wrapped up warm and they would count the stars in the sky and once when it was dark and it seemed like the whole world was asleep Lily would make snow balls. There were things she could not talk about and she was always hungry, and there had always been a sense that she always had to be careful, but she did not remember a time when she hated the woman that had died.

Even when Daddy had locked her in the closet when Daisy had brought her gun downstairs and told him to pull his pants down, whatever that meant. She closed her eyes and tried not to curl up and cry or sleep.

Daddy needed her to be strong, they took care of each other no matter what. He had told her that once when she had just been about to fall asleep

One night, she had heard him say that, so quiet that she could barely remember hearing it, she been so small and so tired that she was sure she had imagined it but she liked to think that he had said those comforting words anyway.

Instead she had found her way to an empty corridor and sat down her legs straight in front of her leaning her back against the wall. Her knees she noticed were still bloody and filthy. Henry-and she had never asked what she should call him she thought-had wanted to clean them but as soon as she had finished eating they had got a call that Daddy was free and that had been the end of that. She rubbed her fists against her eyes to banish sleep and more importantly banishing the tears that just seemed to keep coming.

There was movement behind her and she turned to see Henry standing there watching her. He raised one hand and then with a smile and a groan he moved himself so he was sat next to her. Lily did not flinch, there was something about Henry, and it reminded her of her Daddy. She never felt like she had to be on guard and therefore that made her relax a little and allow him to sit down next that close to her. She looked down at her knees again trying to hide the fact that there were tears in her eyes.

"Ah little one" Henry said heavily. "You don't have to pretend to hide your tears from me"

Lily shook her head her hair flying. She tried to think of what to say and then because it had always done her so well before she decided to settle on the truth.

"I didn't hate her you know. I know that you did but I didn't, and I know she wasn't my Mom and that she was a bad person and all but...she was never bad to me"

"I know. I bet your wishing you stayed in the room when you had the chance aren't you"

Lily actually had wished that and when she looked up at him she found the old man was smiling softly.

"Ah your easier to read than you think Lily." He paused and then he spoke again.

"I know that this must seem confusing for you. You woke up one morning thinking you had some sort of a family and found out that you had another one all with different views on things. But...you shouldn't be ashamed of your feelings, first rule of being a Reagan, if you believe in something strong enough you shout it from the rooftops with your head held high, and then you pick up the pieces and go from there"

Lily considered this.

"I don't hate Daisy" she said finally. Henry nodded like he had been expecting that answer.

"No" he said thoughtfully. "I don't really either"

Lily gasped. Henry nodded.

"Oh I cannot lie to you a part of me is very glad that she will no longer be a member of society but you have to feel sorry for someone that does something that desperate rather than feel hate. Though I imagine I will be the only one in this family alongside you of course that will take that road"

"Maybe" he said finally. "When you're older you'll understand why someone would be so desperate to do what she did but until then I think you might have to settle with helping your Daddy get better. This is gonna be one hell of a long road for all of us"

Lily looked out at the window and the sky that was slowly turning light again. Had she really been awake all night? She shuddered and swallowed again, what she wouldn't give for a chance to lay her head down.

"You want to sleep?" Henry asked as if reading her mind.

Lily paused, she would like to do that very much but that didn't mean she was going to. She shook her head and with an inhuman strength she didn't know she had forced her eyes to stay awake.

"What am I supposed to call you then?" she asked. "I know Frank is my Grandpa but what are you?"

"Well I'm your great grandpa" Henry said smiling. "Your cousin Nikki calls me Pops but if you find that confusing Henry is more than ok for now. Hell, I'm just glad that I have a chance to speak to you at all, I thought that when we found you one of us would be dead"

Lily paused.

"You don't look that old" she said critically. The older man laughed. "Oh" he said beaming. "Oh I like you"

Lily had no idea what was happening or what she had said that was so funny but she couldn't help but smile.

"Ah, she smiles" he said looking rather pleased with himself. Lily giggled because he was funny and if she was being perfectly honest he was the only one that treated her like an adult not like some fragile piece of glass that might shatter if you pushed her.

Henry without warning wrapped one arm around her and pulled her into his side. Lily paused unable to do anything but pull back so that she was still leaning against the wall. Henry wasn't Daddy but he acted the same way he would and that was a start.

She sat there trying to pretend that everything was ok and that she wasn't waiting on tender hooks for news when the one thing she really wanted to ask came out.

"Is he going to die?"

"No" Henry said shaking his head his voice firm.

"He thought he was" Lily said trying to keep the accusation out of her voice.

"He thought he was going to die in there. That was why he tried to find me a way out, it had been five years and he thought you lot would have stopped looking for him. Well not Uncle Danny, Uncle Danny was the one that he knew would never stop looking, something to do with Uncle Joe. Said no matter what happened you lot would look after me, he used to talk to himself about it when he thought I was asleep. Kept muttering that he had made peace, whatever that meant" she tried not to roll her eyes because her father had in Lily's opinion always had a touch for being overdramatic but then again, she was only now realising how much she had been kept in the dark about what had really happened to her father and her mother in those five years they had all been separated.

She really did try and pretend that she didn't feel Henry flinch next to her but it was a hard thing to ignore. Instead she decided to focus on the bird that was flapping its wings outside the window and the colours that the sky was now turning. Lily had never been able to see much outside their window and due to the bars and the low placement of it but now she was beginning to see exactly what she had missed.

There was a pause where she sat there and tried to think what she would say next because it seemed that Henry didn't have much to say to her either. Eventually she decided it was safer to keep her eyes on the window.

And that was where one of her cousins found her an hour or so later to tell her that her father was out of surgery and very much alive.

She left Henry sitting there without a backwards glance.

Her Daddy was going to be awake soon.

* * *

She pushed open the door and was suddenly aware that all the conversation that had taken place before she had entered had stopped. She didn't care. She didn't care about what had happened or who she was in the room with all she cared about was the fact that on the bed his eyes still closed and looking so frail and small, was her father.

For a second Lily stared at him feeling her hands curl into fists so that her nails were biting into the palms of her hand. Her father seemed so small in that bed. Even when she had crawled out of the closet and seen her father on the bed hand clutching at his hips and trying so desperately to cover up he had never looked so small and white before. She had to swallow down the sobs again and remind herself to be strong.

Then she took another look. It seemed that everyone was waiting until she said something. However she looked at her mother and the same blue eyes staring back at her both of them wide and horrified at the man that was lying not moving and speaking on the bed between the two of them.

When she looked back ten maybe twenty years later she would later realise that this was the defining moment in which she and her mother was on the same page. She turned back to her father and she then made the decision. If they wanted to stop her then they would have to carry her screaming and fighting away from her father.

And as her Daddy had said once, to Daisy in the midst of what Lily thought was one of those closet days. God knew that she could fight.

She climbed over the edge of the bed lifting herself up so that she was fully on the bed. One leg was a crooked angle under the blanket and she tried to pretend that she wasn't scared of looking under it to see the damage. There was a bruise near his head and his hand was wrapped in a cast. Instead she curled around his body and lay her head down on his chest. He was breathing which Lily knew was a good sign, even though she didn't understand most medical jargon. She shot Frank...no...Grandpa a look just daring him to make something of it but the older man's eyes had not left his son's body and she was sure that if she'd have climbed onto and started jumping on his ribs he wouldn't have noticed.

Instead there she closed her eyes and within seconds found that she was falling asleep.

* * *

When she woke up it was too a hand in her hair. The gesture was such a gentle one that she remembered too well that it took a moment for her to remember where she was. But then she saw her Momma curled up on a chair her legs tucked underneath her and her hand clutching her fathers. They were alone for now though she imagined that most of the family had been kicked into the small family waiting room where the chairs were comfortably enough to not hurt anyone-Lily would know she had been sat there when they had first come in.

The hand in her hair was gently moving in circles and she looked up shifting her head.

It was her Daddy.

He was awake and his eyes were on her Momma's. They seemed to be having some sort of conversation though there was no words. Instead there was two small smiles. It was then that Lily realised that someone-probably Uncle Danny had draped their jacket over her as a makeshift blanket.

For the first time in her life she had both parents in the same room.

For the first time in her life she realised that everyone was safe.

And for the first time in her life Lily Isabella Reagan felt completely safe. She closed her eyes and fell asleep and for the first time fell asleep completely and deeply.

* * *

 **And let me know what you think. **


	11. Talking Points

**Hi, so here is another chapter, i am updating the final chapters on this story in mass as i am going away soon and won't have access to a computer. There are two other chapters to this story and then i am done with both this story and the Blue Bloods fandom for a while.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.**

 **Please Read and Review**

* * *

Migration

Chapter 11-Talking Points

* * *

Lily was still looking right though her.

Oh Eddie was not debating that things had improved ever since what was left of the man that she loved had been taken into the room but her daughter had curled under her Dad's arm and then promptly fallen asleep stunning all of them. Lily's body had to be on overdrive from lack of sleep and her blue eyed, blonde haired girl had curled underneath her father and ignored everyone.

This she realised with a punch to the stomach, must have been how they slept in that hell hole. Whenever Jamie couldn't look after Lily her daughter must have looked after her father a task a five year old should never have had to do.

It was just the family now. Garrett had gone to the office and Baker had insisted on taking her kids home before she returned, she had assured Frank with steal in her tone that she was coming back so he gave her two hours of personal time before she did. Sid had after several minutes agreed to drive Maria home who after staring at the wall for several minutes tried to pretend that she wasn't shaking and had insisted she could work.

She had been universally shouted down by Danny, Frank and Sid and the latter had all but forced her into his car, he was going back to the office afterwards and Tony had gone to take care of the mass rookies still left at the house. Jack Boyle too had gone in order to find out what the DA was going to do regarding Jamie promising to fight it tooth and nail and call when he knew something.

Therefore when Jamie had come in from surgery and Theresa had entered the room pulling her long blonde hair loose from its ponytail she had barely listened to the run down that included a twisted and torn kneecap, three fractured ribs, a broken hand in three places and damage to the temple.

"All in all" she finished grimly. "You were lucky to get there when you did"

"Physically" she continued "He'll live, mentally it's another story"

And wasn't that the big question, mentally, could Jamie, Lily and herself survive this?

Jack, Sean and Nikki had left earlier, Nikki and Jack had both come from work and Sean had to get back to a roommate that spent most of his time drinking. Theresa had night rounds and had left shortly after. Erin had decided at midnight that her grandfather had to get home and then Linda had claimed that Danny needed to be in his own house for at least three hours sleep (and Eddie was betting a mental breakdown) and for once her husband had torn his eyes away from the crumpled body of his baby brother and had followed her.

Frank had taken a seat in the chair by the corner, not before draping his jacket over the body of his granddaughter. He had only left once at nearly three in the morning because Eddie's stomach had rumbled and even though she had insisted that she didn't want anything the older man had fixed her a stern look and said he was going in search of something hot and halfway decent and that she was going to eat it.

"That's an order" he'd said with what she imagined had once been a ghost of a smile. She smiled a little and then leaned back in her chair trying to think but trying not to think at the same time.

It was then that she noticed Jamie's eyes were open.

They were still the same blue, the same blue as she remembered, and the same blue as her daughters and from the wide way they were gazing at her she was willing to bet that he recognised her.

"Hey" she said smoothing back the hair from his bloodied head.

"Your alive" he whispered, it was not a question though it sounded like one. She nodded unable to stop the tears from rising in her eyes though it she refused to let them fall. She was still strong, she had cried many tears over this man even before they'd been ripped apart, and she wasn't going to start now he was back. They-Jamie and Lily, needed someone strong. She could fall apart later.

She would fall apart later.

"I did it then?" Jamie asked looking around wildly and focusing on Lily curled against his chest.

"Yeah" she whispered wiping her eyes. "You did it"

Jamie closed his eyes and leaned back looking exhausted for a second before the relief flew across his face.

"Thank God" he said finally and then he opened his eyes, his expression the same mask that Lily's had been. Eddie shook her head. "Oh no" she said causing him to look at her.

"You don't get to do that, it's bad enough Lily looks at me like that, I'm not her Jamie don't look at me like you would her"

Jamie eyed her for a second longer and then nodded. "Ok" he said finally. "Ok I won't do that, but...Eddie..." he turned to her desperation covering his expression.

"I tried you know, I tried to get her back to you, I tried to fight and I tried to do...something but..."

"I know" Eddie shushed him because who knew better than her that Jamie Reagan would fight to the death to protect something he loved.

"This wasn't your fault" she shook her head when Jamie showed every sign of interrupting.

"No Reagan do not even go there, you did nothing wrong." She shook her head. She was not going to let Jamie think even for a second that he had done anything wrong. She knew that the Reagans had strange rules about this shit but she would take on her boss and the rest of his department no matter what if she felt for a second it would help Jamie with what he was struggling with.

"You did what was necessary to keep our girl alive, so there is no apology and no need for anything to be forgiven. Whatever happened, I promise you if you don't want to tell me then that's fine but all that matters right now is that we...the three of us are together again"

She didn't know whether or not Jamie had understood what she had just said but she hoped it stuck. There was going to be memories that only the two of them would share, his daughter and him and she couldn't understand what they had been through any more than they could understand what she had been through.

She forced a swallow as Jamie stared at her for a time before he found his voice.

"You mean that?" he asked finally and she nodded her head in an effort to show Jamie that yes, despite all the crappy hands that life had given she did mean it, she loved him and she would stick with him, life had granted them hell and then they had forged together the surviving miracle that had brought them to this moment right here and now. Together, her, Jamie and Lily.

"Damn straight I do Reagan"

"I want to kiss you" Jamie said and for a spilt second she saw a look of self-loathing cross his face. She wanted to ask what the hell was up with him but she had a horrible feeling that she knew, deep down she knew how this was going to end, when they came to take Jamie's statement.

"I know" she said finally.

She could only hope that she would have the strength to hear it.

"But we don't have too" she said finally. They would do this on Jamie's terms, she had enough right here, at least for the time being.

"No" Jamie said reading through her like he had always done.

She took a moment to appreciate the fact that could still read her that well no matter what shit they had been through. She swallowed before shaking her head knowing what he was going to ask her.

"I don't want you listening to my statement, and when my Dad gets back I'm gonna tell him that I don't want him or Danny reading it either, and I want it sealed. No" he said when Eddie started to interrupt and then his eyes filled with tears. it was the first sign of emotion that he had shown since she had met him and she found that she was shaking again when she looked at him, broken and bloodied but yet not broken, still showing that strength that had made him to loveable so fast when she had first met him running into the darkness to try and find a cop-killer all on his own and when she had seen him stand up to other cops only caring about what was right and wrong, she had thought there that that was a shitty thing for a father to ask his son to do, for a cop to ask another cop to do but she had been impressed at how he had risen to the challenge.

Falling in love with Jamie Reagan was easy after that.

"I don't want anyone knowing, knowing somethings. Somethings I have the right to take to the grave"

Eddie personally didn't think that his father was going to let him get away with that kind of thinking but she couldn't upset Jamie more.

"There gonna come after me" Jamie said quietly and Eddie knew he meant the DA, whatever had happened in that basement she reasoned grimly must have been bad. It had sent Danny and Maria home in pieces and Jamie was here accepting defeat.

"Erin is gonna quit if you do" she said confidently.

A small smile flickered across his face in response to what she had just said and she took that as a good sign. Gently she watched as his hand came up and his fingers curled in Lily's hair. She slept on having no idea what was happening.

"Dad's been here" he said finally looking at Frank's jacket.

"Hasn't left" she said choosing that moment to wipe her eyes. Jamie snorted.

"He was good to you?" he asked and she nodded. "He was brilliant" she confessed. "He took care of me, him and Henry both when he knew I couldn't take care of myself, and Henry and Lily...hell Lily and your father...he was the one that found walking in the snow refusing to stop for anything other than your brother"

Jamie nodded though she could see that he was rapidly losing attention due to the way his body was slowly decompressing in the pillow. He had woken up and realised he was safe but she remembered that Lily had slept for nearly a day straight when she had been put under and she still looked exhausted most of the time. That bone deep determination to see things through to the bloody bitter end was a Reagan trait but a part of her hoped her five year old little girl would never have to view her life like that again.

"I love you" Jamie said simply. Eddie closed her eyes because she had been waiting to hear that for nearly five years and now she was hearing it she was almost overwhelmed by the fact that the words still created the same butterfly feeling in her stomach.

"I love you too" she said unable to stop the tears leaking. Jamie's eyelids were fluttering again.

"Go to sleep" she said gently smoothing back his hair again. "I'll be there when you wake up"

Jamie watched her for a second and then the exhaustion won and his eyes fluttered closed and his breathing evened out.

She looked down for a second certain that she had seen Lily's bright blue eyes on her face but when she looked down it was to her little girls face smoothed out against her father's chest. She linked her fingers with Jamie's uninjured hand and she felt the bones in every inch of his hand, the skin paper thin and white almost from years of deprived sunlight and neglect.

She looked up to see Frank standing there in the doorway and she tried to keep her emotions under control no matter what but just like she had before when she had cried and puked in the rain she found she was unable.

His own lined face mirrored she was sure her despair.

He was clutching a pizza box and two cups of coffee and she took a sip with her unlinked hand, Frank had gotten the combination of sugar mixed with the black coffee perfectly. Jamie had always believed she was a heathen for drinking her coffee that way but he had never stopped her. Coffee was the one thing where her sweet tooth didn't control her that much.

She swallowed again, her throat was so dry for some reason and she watched as Frank took out a slice of pizza and passed it to her.

"Eat" he said, "Even if it's just one slice."

She nodded and forced two maybe three mouthfuls down her before she had to stop.

"Get some sleep" Frank suggested. Eddie stared at him feeling a smile tugging at her lips even as a longing for sleep came over her.

"When will you sleep?"

Frank chuckled darkly she realised, there was no humour in it.

"I don't think I'll be sleeping for a long time"

Eddie wanted to call him out on that but before she could she was suddenly so tired she couldn't keep her head up. Instead she closed her eyes and felt sleep pass over her, Jamie's hand still linked in her own and her daughter curled up on her father's chest, her father in law, almost, watching her sleep.

For the first time in five years she slept without having even one nightmare.

* * *

 **And there it is let me know what you think**


	12. To Change

**Hi, so here is another chapter.**

 **This story does contain triggers of rape and self harm and I am not a medical expert so therefore anything inaccurate I apologise.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.**

 **Please Read and Review**

* * *

Migration

Chapter 12-To Change

* * *

It had been two weeks, two weeks since they had found Jamie.

Things since then had been...different.

And ok, Danny was not an idiot, mostly. He did not expect Jamie to be back to being the same person he had bene when he had been taken five years ago. But this level of different was unnerving.

The DA had backed off terrified it seemed of going against Erin, the PC and the NYPD it seemed because while they were considering whether or not to charge Jamie, half of the detectives in the force seemed to be suddenly suffering 'Blue Flu' and the other half seemed to be suffering from DA allergies.

And unlike the last time his father was not getting involved. He had Sid kill it after a week, but that had been a long week for the DA's department Erin had said over dinner one night. unofficially, he Erin and Linda had all but moved into the house because his father when he wasn't forced home by necessity and Abigail Baker's ruthless look was spending most of his time either at work or at the hospital and the three of them had come to the unofficial conclusion that Lily shouldn't be left alone.

Danny found that random people kept showing up. The press were a fucking nightmare, neighbours were dropping off food and even Reverend Potter had shown up, a casserole from his wife and at least sixteen cupcakes with a pained expression on his face when he had caught sight of Lily happily sat at the table her legs swinging looking like twigs.

"Lord have mercy" he said as Danny was debating whether or not it was unethical to offer a member of the clergy a beer.

"Understatement" Danny muttered but he had to appreciate the statement.

Lily's eating patterns were strange. Clearly she wasn't used to eating three meals a day at scheduled times and it was showing.

She was also getting used to some food. Danny had never asked what type of food had been eaten in that hell hole but he was willing to bet considering you could snap his brother in two and his niece in three pieces that it hadn't been very good. Hell he had had to introduce the girl to chocolate milk which had been both an experience and heartbreaking at the same time because she had looked in the morning with her new butterfly pyjamas incredibly like Jamie.

And then there had been the thing in the middle of the night, were Danny had woken up to find Lily sat on the floor in the dark eating spoonful's of the ex-Mayor Carter Poole famous stuffing that had been sent round the previous day.

Danny had picked the all put sleeping kid up and put her to bed but he couldn't help but look at the stuffing crumbs on the floor and the way Lily had looked when he had come down the stairs to feel his heart ache.

Linda had been in control of the clothes but they had all worried about what to do when it came to sleeping. Eventually they had decided to keep the door ajar and the light on and after the first night where Lily had scrambled into his bed instead of Eddie's only to become surprised to realise that it was Danny and not her father she had been looking for. Since then she had stayed in her room most nights and the horrible bags under her eyes seemed to be going.

A medical exam by Theresa seemed to point towards Lily being inoculated from most diseases but she seemed to be walking around in a daze. Once when Jack had dropped a plate, Danny had turned around to find her in the broom closet and it had taken him an hour to talk her out of it.

And it didn't help that they were keeping Jamie in for observation.

His knee had been twisted and healed and then twisted again so that everyone knew, including Danny that his brother had never had a chance to run. It made him turn and puke up his stomach in the bathroom though Lily didn't seem fazed by it when he had gently tried to tell her.

(Danny also knew that the knee injury meant that his little brother's career was over.)

The physio aside on both the knee and the hand, Theresa had let slip that the Doctors in charge were worried about sending Jamie home in the mood that he was in. His brother was suffering mood swings that changed every day and it hadn't been clearer than when Erin had tried to kiss him and Jamie had jerked away looking terrified.

Theresa had pointed out that the mood swings were to be expected.

"It's all going to come crashing down at one point" she said over coffee at the hospital when Danny had asked his son's girlfriend. "He's been tortured Danny and God only knows what he's not telling us. When it comes crashing down on him that he survived he's gonna be a mess and nobody wants him home with all those potential triggers when he does"

Danny stared at her and then his throat closed up. He had a pretty good idea of the things that Jamie was refusing to talk about and he had another feeling that he wasn't going to like it. Dealing with Lily was hard enough as her uncle and as a father, he had no idea how the hell to handle Jamie.

"Ring me when it happens" he told her seriously. "When it happens, ring me and..." he shrugged. Theresa watched him for a second and then nodded once.

"Ok" she said quietly. "But I must warn you that it might be in the middle of the night, these things don't have a timetable, they come when they come"

Danny nodded. He was hardly sleeping as it was. Nothing that Theresa could say or do would get in the way of that.

And he had let Jamie down for a long time, he would not fail to be there for him this time.

So when the phone call came in he was already scrambling awake. Linda stirring next to him brushing her hair out of her eyes. Danny was on his third sabbatical (well fourth if you counted that time his house had burnt down and his father had forced him to go on a three week holiday while they tried to find a house for him) and he knew it wasn't a work call.

He scrambled around for his phone yanking both it and the charger out of the plug socket. It was Theresa and Danny sent a mental prayer and thank you that his son had found a girlfriend that was so competent in the middle of a crisis she had only heard stories about.

"I think you need to get down here" Theresa said finally into the phone. "And I think it should just be you" Danny took the subtle hint for what it was. Jamie didn't want his father there while he had some sort of emotional breakdown. In fact Danny was willing to bet what was left of his pension that had he not asked her to ring him when the inevitable happened she wouldn't have because there was no way in hell that Jamie would have asked himself. Even before this clusterfuck.

But none of that mattered, because his little brother was broken and hurting and Danny had to be there to help him but the pieces together again.

Danny had failed Jamie too many times. He should have stopped this from happening and whether or not Linda shouted that he was not responsible a hundred thousand times at him he was always going to feel responsible for this. Jamie had needed his brother for five years and Danny had not been there, he had not been there for Joe and both of his little brothers had had to bleed out somewhere knowing that Danny had not been there to take the hits for them.

So now he pushed himself out of bed and reached for his jeans. Linda watched him with her wide eyes in the dark but she didn't attempt to stop him nor did she ask where he was going. Theresa he knew had spoken to her more than once about Jamie's recovery with Linda being locked out due to her last name and Theresa and Jack mostly keeping their relationship under wraps.

He made it to the hospital in record time. Thank God he had been in the unmarked car and should some idiot rookie pull him over he could put the fear of God into him.

* * *

Theresa was waiting by Jamie's room when he got there. She had clearly sent the rookie on the door away or maybe Jamie had because he wasn't there. The door was shut and the blinds were closed and while she smiled at him Danny could see that there were dark bags under her eyes and there was a dusting of a bruise on her cheekbone.

"Hey" she said looking tired.

"Did he hit you?" he asked in surprise. Jamie was hardly violent. Theresa rolled her eyes.

"No" she said finally. "He panicked like I told you he would and the rookie on the door tried to restrain him and I got an elbow to the face trying to pry the idiot of him. Jamie's now half under the bed refusing to let anyone near him and keeps muttering about punishment so I banished the rookie and called you." She shook her head. "No offense to your father but sometimes I think he employs idiots"

Danny snorted but didn't correct her. He shook his head reaching for the door. "Give me a couple of hours?" he asked and smiled his thanks when Theresa nodded.

He opened the door and closed it behind him.

* * *

It took him a second to figure out where Jamie was. The room was a bombsite of pillows and blankets and it was only when he saw the leg at the angle it was on the other side of the bed that he knew to cross the room sit down on the floor so he could see Jamie better.

Jamie was leaning against the bed one knee curled towards his chest and his hand resting on his knee the fist propping his head up. He shook his head when Danny sat down giving his twisted leg some space. It was healed now at least not as mangled as it was before, the muscle just needed time to heal.

The scarring on his face was down as well Danny noticed just giving him a bruised look on his face but his eyes were staring at the corner of the wall with a faraway glance.

It took his brother a second to realise that he was there.

"Oh" he said flatly. "Not-Linda call you?"

Danny took a moment to appreciate that Jamie's sarcasm was back and then nodded.

"Her name is Theresa you know, she's Jack's girlfriend"

Jamie shrugged.

"So you wanna talk about it?"

Jamie eyed him then.

"How's Lily?" he asked.

Danny honestly didn't know how to answer that.

"She's tough" he said finally. Jamie nodded his eyes closing. Danny tried a different tactic.

"If you're worried about the DA then don't be. He doesn't want to admit that he's trying a case that he is gonna lose off the bat. One thing I will say for the press there all on your side"

Jamie didn't answer him.

"How long did Dad keep the investigation open for?"

Danny blinked. The question was so strange that he didn't know how to answer it anything but honestly.

"A year officially, unofficially he never asked me how long I was looking. He never tried to stop me though..."

He was cut off by Jamie who banged his fist into his head.

"Do you remember" he said finally. "That cop that let a guy get shot because he was protecting his own daughter, and Dad and Grandpa both said that he should have put his life on the line anyhow regardless, because that was what a good cop was or something like that"

"Yeah" Danny said though he had a horrible feeling that he was getting the picture of what Jamie was saying.

"I suppose under that twisted logic I should have fought back, should have let her take Lily away, and should have let her do it? Should I have fought back? Because that's what cops do, there's no time limit"

His voice was vicious when he finished his fingers stabbing the floor.

"That's not what he meant Jamie you knew it then and you know it now. You cannot take everything Dad takes literally otherwise Erin would have never been married."

"Danny" Jamie said finally and when he looked up his face was so hollow it would have been impressive had it been anyone else. That being said it was his little brother and the thought of him having to pretend that he was normal around Danny made his heart ache.

There was something that Jamie was sitting on, Danny knew it, his father knew it and even Eddie knew it. The only person left alive in that hell hole who knew what Jamie had gone through was a five year old girl and Danny sure as shit wasn't going to ask her what the hell had gone on because a part of him knew that the kid thought it was normal.

And that was just too much even for him.

"Sometimes, I would hate that you never got to us sooner, I shouldn't have had to put my five year old through a broken glass window in order for you to find me Danny. You had the full disposal of the NYPD you should have found me faster"

Danny nodded because it was a full accusation that he knew he deserved and would accept without hesitation.

He should have found Jamie quicker. Nobody would regret that more than he did.

"And then I think of course you couldn't. That you were trying your best and that was why I trusted Lily to you. I trusted Lily to you because your you, because before...before...I was gonna ask you to be godfather"

It was pain upon pain Danny realised. If Jamie's revenge was to kill him with pain then he was doing a very good job. He closed his eyes and tried to keep the emotion deep down because the last thing Jamie needed was for him to fall apart.

"Oh" he said finally.

There was another long beat of silence, Danny judged it for a second and the moved closer switching sides so Jamie had a choice to lean his head on his shoulder if he so desired too.

They stayed there for a second Jamie drawing pictures in the dust on the floor for sever minutes and then when he spoke it was in a quiet voice but at the same time contemplative as if he was still in wonder about how this had happened to him. Danny could sympathise, he still wondered how the hell this had happened to Jamie when it should have, could have happened to anyone else.

"She raped me Danny"

It was said in a whisper and Danny had to bite back more pain at the thought of what his brother had gone through. He forced himself to focus however on what Jamie was saying.

"I figured there might be something like that" he said finally. Because he had deep down, in his darkest, twisted imaginings, thought that that would be something that happened. He had tried hard not to imagine what Jamie had gone through during those five years but he couldn't help it sometimes when the guilt had ate at him in the night.

They stared there for several more minutes and then Jamie turned slowly like his bones had turned to stone or something and leaned his head on his big brother's shoulder. Danny stared there frozen for a second and then he felt Jamie start trembling again. Ignoring all the warnings that he'd been given about not touching his bother he twisted so he could wrap his baby brother in his arms and let him cry on his shoulder.

It was a long time till the sun came up.

But now, surely things had to change?

* * *

 **Final Chapter coming up soon. Let me know what you think. **


	13. One Perfect Day

**Hi, so here is the final chapter, i want to say a massive thank you to all of you for your kind words and reviews but this story has to end and this is where it ended.**

 **I am updating all of the final chapters together in order to keep it neat before i go away so therefore that is the reason why it's such a late updating schedule.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just Lily.**

 **i hope i've left this in a good place, i am gonna take a little bit of a break from the Blue Bloods fandom. There is one story left to do on my list then i am going i think on hiatus a little bit from this fandom.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

* * *

Migration

Chapter 13-One Perfect Day

* * *

His room was still the same.

He hadn't gone back to the apartment that he and Eddie were sharing prior to all this shit taking place. He had gone back to his house, his home, his Dad's home.

He was more than surprised to see that the bedrooms were the same. Danny's was still blue and covered with the posters of the Jets. Erin's was covered in pictures of the band that she had liked at the time and his was still the same.

He had yet to look in Joe's.

But his room was still the same. Only now it was Lily that was sleeping in it.

He shook his head leaning back on the window sill.

It was strange to imagine life almost a month ago Jamie realised. It was strange to imagine a life that didn't include his family when for five years he'd been forced to live with nothing but.

He stood up wincing and made it all the way down the stairs without his leg cramping which was generally a good sign. He slipped out the door and stepped into the garden. First thing he'd have to do was get his car license back again because there was something he had to do and he couldn't do it stuck in this house barely able even now to walk down the street without feeling his knee twinge.

The days of boxing and running were gone, the days of him being a police officer were gone and the end of him being Jamie Reagan, the old Jamie Reagan were gone.

But he was alive.

He still went back and forth with putting that between the pro's and the cons of surviving. He had always banked on Lily surviving, he had never banked on him surviving with her. And he had been prepared to die. To live...well that was another story.

He was waiting on the stone steps his knee bent at an odd angle, even after a month of physio it felt like it was being twisted again. He found however he could sleep a little bit better. It had not become strange to sleep next to Eddie again even after a month and more than not Lily turning up in the middle of the night had now whittled down to once a week.

Baby steps as his mother had once said.

But he was waiting on the porch breathing in the fresh air and he tried not to shiver when the breeze hit his face. He forced a swallow again as the breeze made the bushes move. Somethings he had learnt a long time ago were not to be messed with, were not to be taken for granted and this, being able to sit out on his own porch and breathe in the fresh air was one of them.

The car in front of the house pulled up and he saw Danny climb out of the seat. He tried to smile but found that he was playing with the edges of his sleeves. Ever since he had disclosed to his brother the worst of the abuse that he had suffered while under Daisy's imprisonment they had forged a way forwards though it had been a hard slog. There was a pause where both of them stared at each other from the other side of the car and then his brother was pulling out the box in the back seat.

Danny grinned at him. "You sure you wanna do this?" he asked. His brother was dressed in jeans and a polo shirt and he looked causally. Danny was back at work but Maria seemed to be catching the cases and he was only working them when it didn't get in the way of being home every night at five pm so that he could see his goddaughter before she disappeared to her bedroom and he had to go back out and work again.

Jamie peered through the slats on the box. He'd had some doubts sending Danny out to do this because Danny seemed to still somehow whenever Lily was involved develop the mind of a child and knowing Danny he might have come back with something that bit rather than be allowed to be cuddled.

"Oh yeah I wanna do this" he said taking the box out of Danny's hand and turning. He winced as he turned the knee throbbing with pain. He felt a hand on his back and for the first time in a long time found that he didn't flinch away from any touch that wasn't Lily or Eddie.

"Thanks" he said through the pain and then he was up the steps and into the house.

The house was already getting ready for Sunday dinner. That was another thing that had confused him at first. He had thought for a long time that he would never get to see or enjoy a Sunday dinner again and now here they were, with all the food he could eat and so much noise. He had tried to keep that aspect in Lily's life but there were times still where she was confused about what was going on and he knew certain loud noises or bright lights still scared her after what had seemed like a lifetime in darkness. But she was surviving just as he was and now Jamie was finally able to give his daughter the one thing she had always wanted.

Danny followed him into the house just as his father came out. His father had the unnerving way of spying on him even when he was on the front lawn, last week Jamie had gone for a walk to the end of the road and half of the NYPD had been on standby in case something happened.

He moved past his father limping into the dining room. Lily was in the kitchen with his grandfather and her mother. Eddie and Lily were coming alone, now it was Eddie reading the story at bedtime instead of Jamie and she found that the two of them were finding a way forwards no matter how slow the way forward was.

He on the other hand was a different story. He still had nightmares, mood swings, had once found himself staring at a razor for too long until Danny all but threatened to kick open the door and still struggled to deal with intimate contact.

Danny had been trying to get him to disclose what had happened to him to his father or at least to Eddie but Jamie was refusing to. Somethings he had to do on his own term and he wasn't going to do it when the wounds were still fresh and bleeding all over his body.

But the big shocker had not been him, the big shocker had been his sister who had walked into work one day to hear someone ask her boss Monica was it favouritism to drop any case against Jamie, had promptly thrown her files on the floor and told a stunned Anthony that she was quitting. Half of the private practice firms in the city had sent food parcels round and now his sister was on a lighter schedule that still involved justice. She had taken up the partner position at a private practice that had a wing prosecuting war crimes and she was once again excited about it.

Anyhow Lily was in the kitchen her legs swinging of a chair and her hair neatly braided. She was wearing jeans and a blue shirt with a butterfly on courtesy of Linda who had picked up very quickly that his daughter was not a pink girl.

"Hey Lil, I got something for you" he said. Danny helped him sit down on the floor his leg still at a bent angle. Lily hoped of her chair her hands freshly washed and she stared at him her head tilted to the side.

Danny passed him the cage again and he opened it scooping the ball of fur inside it.

"Oh brother" he heard his grandfather say accompanied by an eye roll but Lily's attention was distracted by the ball of fluff that Jamie had just handed her and his attention was completely on her.

The kitten was Jamie's idea and he had roped Danny into it because Danny was more a kid than he had let on and a he had known that it would have screwed up his grandfather's plan to get the floors waxed which would mean a hell of a lot of work and a hell of a lot of noise.

The ball of fluff was as small as Lily had once been, it had black fur accompanied by a spot of white near its ear and wide eyes that were regarding the girl holding him with as much interest as the kid holding him was.

"I get to keep him?" she asked her voice forming around the words.

"Yes you do" Jamie said satisfied that he had gotten a good reaction, he knew how to read his daughter better than anyone.

"Thank you" she said her attention still completely enamoured by the kitten.

"Can he sleep on my bed?"

Both his father and his grandfather winced at that.

"Is he trained?"

"Didn't ask" Danny said grinning.

"Oh wonderful" his grandfather muttered.

"Does he have a name?" Lily asked instead.

"No" Jamie said meeting Eddie's eyes.

"You can think of one if you like over dinner"

* * *

Later that night, Lily and the kitten safely in bed Jamie crept out of his own and down the stairs only wincing once when the pain in his leg got too bad. There was something he needed to do and Eddie god bless her seemed to know what it was and why he needed to do it without ever asking him.

He went down the stairs and out into the backyard. His father at some point had put in a table with beach chairs and he gingerly lowered himself down into the chair so that he could stare at the sky and listen.

New York was really the city that never slept.

And now he had a chance to listen to it all, to drink it all in, no matter what the cold temperature. He would fall asleep here at least once a week and wake up when the frost showing. Snow had stopped falling but it was still on the horizon and having been unconscious throughout most of the snow including Christmas Jamie was just eager to feel it again.

And the rain, he was desperate to feel the rain.

He was just about to fall asleep when he felt something on top of him. He jerked awake memories phantom and dangerous touches on the forefront of his brain until he saw that it was his father watching him with a blanket in his arms. Jamie struggled to sit up but uncaring of the cold his father slid into the seat next to him.

He and his father had not said much in the last month, Jamie had been angry for a very long time and a lot of that anger had been and still was directed at his father. But right now Jamie couldn't feel angry towards him, not when he was seeing the way he was staring at Jamie as if he was going to disappear in a puff of smoke. In the dark and the cold Jamie was fully aware with a startling clarity of what it had been like for his father, to lose a son and granddaughter in one night and then finding them. At least with Joe there had been a body. There had been some sort of closure.

He held out a hand and his Dad took it. Jamie was not one for initiating touches all that much but he sat up so that his Dad and him were face to face.

"I'm..." he couldn't say fine that was too big of a lie even for him to say.

"I'm...not broken" he settled on, because he wasn't.

He was many things, but he had never let her break him and he wasn't about to start now. He was bruised and battered but he wasn't broken.

He was alive. Lily was alive. Eddie was alive.

He could pick up the pieces from there.

"I know" his Dad said simply and his eyes were roaming over Jamie's greedily as if he was so afraid that he was going to disappear again.

Jamie nodded struggling to swallow down his emotions, he noticed a bird on the branch and remembered something he had read about a long time ago. About birds and how they migrated for the winter, well the same could be said for him and Lily. They had migrated for the winter as well.

He shook his head banishing those thoughts out of his head. He didn't have to be in survival mode, now he could just live. Lily could have a family to worry about her just as he had planned for.

"I survived" he said finally. "I'm not gonna be ashamed of that"

He didn't know why he was saying this only that he wanted it to be clear. His father nodded reading straight through him the same way he always had. He had never thought his father able to do that, Joe maybe, Danny yes, Jack never but he had never thought his father could read him because Jamie had kept so many secrets from his father both on the job and afterwards.

"I know" his father said after a long significant pause.

"I also know you're not fine"

Jamie shook his head looking away and letting his hand fall to the side.

Something was brushing his shoulder and he turned to see snow.

"Snow" he said more to himself.

"Oh good, so now we'll have Lily and that kitten you got her in the snow all day. Your grandpa should be thrilled. There goes his plans to wax the floors"

Jamie nodded still watching the snow fall and melt on his hand. His father reached out to grab his face forcing him to look at him.

"Jamison" he said and his face was half shadowed in darkness so Jamie couldn't see his expression.

"I'm not fine Dad" he said letting the hand fall. His Dad swallowed heavily.

"I know son" he began but Jamie shook his head still watching the snow falling down.

"No Dad" he said turning to look at his father and feeling the first genuine smile he had given in five years creeping across his face. It was stiff but real and he found his eyes were watering because he knew. No matter what...he knew.

"But I will be. One day"

And until that one perfect day he would settle with this, right here.

"Go ahead" he whispered again remembering those words. "I've made peace"

And this time, just like the last time he knew he had. He had made peace then with dying.

Now however. Now he realised unable to stop the grin on his face.

He had made peace with living.

* * *

 **So here is the final chapter, i hope that you enjoyed this little story and i will see you soon.**


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